I suppose aside from today's date being a palindrome, as well Veterans Day, some poor sap who watches This Is Spinal Tap a little too often decided that today just wasn't important enough.
This, of course, is not an officially recognized holiday, meaning that banks and schools choose not to observe it by closing their doors, there are no parades, and nobody lights any candles in remembrance of pewter. No, this "holiday" is on par with Talk Like A Pirate Day, in that it is completely ridiculous and without merit.
Don't misunderstand me. I am not against metal. I'm a pretty big fan, truth be told. It's great stuff, and our society wouldn't exist without it. I am pro-metal all the way.
I just don't understand why we as a culture feel the need to dedicate an entire day to metal. Does metal feel underappreciated? Haven't we got bigger problems to worry about?
Our economy is in the toilet, our infrastructure is crumbling, our government is trying to poison our water supplies with high concentrations of psychedelic drugs in an effort to transform us into a drooling mob of hallucinating zombies, an asteroid the size of Texas is hurtling toward our planet as we speak, and when it strikes on New Year's Eve, Rll'Hor, the pagan god of fire will bathe the world in a cleansing maelstrom that will renew the land and sea, ushering in the rise of the Esoteric Configuration of the Unknowable Beast, the skies will boil and the stars will freeze, and the trees will become our cruel masters in a dread new reality of madness and pain...
Wait, National Metal Day refers to the musical genre? That makes even less sense. Does this mean there's a National Easy Listening Day? If not, then there should be. At least then maybe Pat Boone will finally get the respect he has long deserved.
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| Bow to your patron god, metalheads! |
Of course, it was so obvious...
Happy TORI AMOS DAY, everybody!
Hey, no profanity in this post! Take that, geodude19964!
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