I posted a new Photoplay on the YouTubes this fine morning.
It's called "Rated AARRR!!!" and it tells the sad, tragic tale of a man with low standards and the event that will change his life forever.
You can see it on the sidebar to the right, or visit my YouTube channel and subscribe, if you so wish.
Leave me some feedback.
I love feedback.
Monday, August 31
Halloween II
I caught a matinee of "Halloween II" yesterday.
I have to begin by saying I would call myself a fan of Rob Zombie, the film director.
I really enjoyed "House of 1,000 Corpses". Hell, I saw it four times in theaters. Granted, that last screening was at a run-down dollar theater, but that dingy aesthetic just helped me enjoy the film more.
I think "The Devil's Rejects" is his best film, and I revisit it often on dvd.
When I heard Zombie was going to remake "Halloween", one of my favorite films, it gave me pause. But I decided to roll with it and see what he came up with.
To my surprise, I found myself enjoying his take on Michael Myers quite a bit. The film was scattershot, and the final act feels wedged-in and rushed, but I liked the slow burn quality to the early days of young Michael Myers, and was shocked that Sheri Moon Zombie actually seemed to turn in a real performance.
So I was obviously willing to give the man another shot when the sequel came rolling by.
Then I saw it.
What a fucking train wreck.
The movie has so many problems, I don't even know how to talk about it. My biggest problem was Sherrif Brackett. Brad Dourif is the MVP of this film. His performance never felt forced, or half-assed. But I like Dourif in just about anything, so that doesn't surprise me.
But Zombie really dropped the ball with his character in the final act. Brackett needed to go Ahab on "Hellbilly Michael Myers" in a serious way at the climax. But no. His arc just kinda fizzles out at the end of this confusing mess. A little like everything else.
And that fucking white horse...
Honestly, despite its flaws, I can't hate this movie. I was oddly entertained by it, for the most part. And although the ending leaves A LOT to be desired, it's a Rob Zombie film, through and through. Whether or not that's a good thing is not for me to decide.
I'm a Rob Zombie fan, and I can't be objective.
I also could not recommend this film to anyone.
Except maybe my friend Titus. But he's also a Rob Zombie fan.
I have to begin by saying I would call myself a fan of Rob Zombie, the film director.
I really enjoyed "House of 1,000 Corpses". Hell, I saw it four times in theaters. Granted, that last screening was at a run-down dollar theater, but that dingy aesthetic just helped me enjoy the film more.
I think "The Devil's Rejects" is his best film, and I revisit it often on dvd.
When I heard Zombie was going to remake "Halloween", one of my favorite films, it gave me pause. But I decided to roll with it and see what he came up with.
To my surprise, I found myself enjoying his take on Michael Myers quite a bit. The film was scattershot, and the final act feels wedged-in and rushed, but I liked the slow burn quality to the early days of young Michael Myers, and was shocked that Sheri Moon Zombie actually seemed to turn in a real performance.
So I was obviously willing to give the man another shot when the sequel came rolling by.
Then I saw it.
What a fucking train wreck.
The movie has so many problems, I don't even know how to talk about it. My biggest problem was Sherrif Brackett. Brad Dourif is the MVP of this film. His performance never felt forced, or half-assed. But I like Dourif in just about anything, so that doesn't surprise me.
But Zombie really dropped the ball with his character in the final act. Brackett needed to go Ahab on "Hellbilly Michael Myers" in a serious way at the climax. But no. His arc just kinda fizzles out at the end of this confusing mess. A little like everything else.
And that fucking white horse...
Honestly, despite its flaws, I can't hate this movie. I was oddly entertained by it, for the most part. And although the ending leaves A LOT to be desired, it's a Rob Zombie film, through and through. Whether or not that's a good thing is not for me to decide.
I'm a Rob Zombie fan, and I can't be objective.
I also could not recommend this film to anyone.
Except maybe my friend Titus. But he's also a Rob Zombie fan.
Friday, August 28
New Photoplay
I posted a new photoplay on the YouTubes.
It's called "When a Wonka Calls", and it's a rip-off of the classic Carol Kane-starring thriller "When a Stranger Calls". But then again, the title kinda gives that away.
Is it funny? Is it a waste of time?
Not my call.
It's called "When a Wonka Calls", and it's a rip-off of the classic Carol Kane-starring thriller "When a Stranger Calls". But then again, the title kinda gives that away.
Is it funny? Is it a waste of time?
Not my call.
Werner Herzog Is God
A while back, I had a very vivid dream.
I was sitting in a small, cramped room across a table from Werner Herzog. We were playing Chutes and Ladders.
He won, and I congratulated him on his victory. He smiled at me, patted me on the back, and happily said "Everyone's a winner when you play Chutes and Ladders!" in that thick German accent.
I woke up with a smile on my face.
Yesterday, I dreamed of reading a book.
What the hell?
I was sitting in a small, cramped room across a table from Werner Herzog. We were playing Chutes and Ladders.
He won, and I congratulated him on his victory. He smiled at me, patted me on the back, and happily said "Everyone's a winner when you play Chutes and Ladders!" in that thick German accent.
I woke up with a smile on my face.
Yesterday, I dreamed of reading a book.
What the hell?
Baby Showers
I've never been to a baby shower, before. Someone I know is having a baby in a few weeks. So she's having a baby shower.
I always thought people had baby showers earlier than that. It just makes sense to me to have your baby shower around the six month mark.
But I may be way off the mark. I don't like kids. I kinda hate the fact that I used to be one.
I like to imagine that I wasn't born, at all. Perhaps I passed through a membrane from another dimension fully formed and filled with hate.
Thoughts like that keep me warm at night.
Of course, the booze helps.
I always thought people had baby showers earlier than that. It just makes sense to me to have your baby shower around the six month mark.
But I may be way off the mark. I don't like kids. I kinda hate the fact that I used to be one.
I like to imagine that I wasn't born, at all. Perhaps I passed through a membrane from another dimension fully formed and filled with hate.
Thoughts like that keep me warm at night.
Of course, the booze helps.
Thursday, August 27
New Photoplays
I have posted some new photoplays on my YouTube channel.
"Curse of the Bad Touch" is a delightful romp dealing with a young man's struggles with masturbation.
"Donut Kings" is a cautionary tale about two guys who take their love of delicious pastries too far.
"Night Ranger" is a slasher movie parody.
I had to change the music on the videos for public consumption. I don't think they suffer too much for this, but I could be wrong.
If you want to watch them, they're available on the sidebar to the right. Or you could visit my YouTube channel and subscribe.
Either way, enjoy!
"Curse of the Bad Touch" is a delightful romp dealing with a young man's struggles with masturbation.
"Donut Kings" is a cautionary tale about two guys who take their love of delicious pastries too far.
"Night Ranger" is a slasher movie parody.
I had to change the music on the videos for public consumption. I don't think they suffer too much for this, but I could be wrong.
If you want to watch them, they're available on the sidebar to the right. Or you could visit my YouTube channel and subscribe.
Either way, enjoy!
Wednesday, August 26
Blast From The Past
I ran into someone I used to know a long time ago.
We went to high school together. We were friendly, but I wouldn't say we were friends.
I walked into a convenience store, she was behind the counter. It made me pause, because I always had a thing for her.
But after school, I never expected to see her again. Then BAM! She didn't even recognize me, which is a bit of a blow to the old ego, but I wasn't surprised.
Ten years. That's how long it's been since I saw her. A decade goes by, then there she was. It reminded me of better days.
We went to high school together. We were friendly, but I wouldn't say we were friends.
I walked into a convenience store, she was behind the counter. It made me pause, because I always had a thing for her.
But after school, I never expected to see her again. Then BAM! She didn't even recognize me, which is a bit of a blow to the old ego, but I wasn't surprised.
Ten years. That's how long it's been since I saw her. A decade goes by, then there she was. It reminded me of better days.
The Channel Of Lies
I started my YouTube channel in April. But I haven't uploaded any videos until today.
It's taken me a while to put some of these videos together, which is kind of sad, considering the quality. But I think they're funny, and you might too, dear reader, if you give them a chance.
You can view them on the sidebar to the right, or just visit my YouTube channel and subscribe.
I'm just working on the photoplays for now, but eventually there will be other content, as well.
They're short and there are more coming.
Today, YouTube... tomorrow... I guess just YouTube.
It's taken me a while to put some of these videos together, which is kind of sad, considering the quality. But I think they're funny, and you might too, dear reader, if you give them a chance.
You can view them on the sidebar to the right, or just visit my YouTube channel and subscribe.
I'm just working on the photoplays for now, but eventually there will be other content, as well.
They're short and there are more coming.
Today, YouTube... tomorrow... I guess just YouTube.
I joined Facebook today.
I don't know why. I only have two real friends and they don't use facebook.
It's weird. I feel like maybe I'm trying to branch out, to make new friends. Of course, I have no idea how to do that. I'm so damn anti-social I may have forgotten how to talk to average people. As opposed to all the kings and big-time celebrities I usually hang with.
Ah...
Anyway, I think I'm going to give this whole Facebook thing a chance. When I signed up, the site showed me a bunch of people I actually remembered from high school. Like this guy Ricky. He was a cool guy. He lives in Georgia, now. Better than Kansas, I suppose.
If you want to be my Facebook friend, just look up Dustin Bacon. It shouldn't be too hard.
Facebook. Just another way for the world to tell me that I don't matter.
I don't know why. I only have two real friends and they don't use facebook.
It's weird. I feel like maybe I'm trying to branch out, to make new friends. Of course, I have no idea how to do that. I'm so damn anti-social I may have forgotten how to talk to average people. As opposed to all the kings and big-time celebrities I usually hang with.
Ah...
Anyway, I think I'm going to give this whole Facebook thing a chance. When I signed up, the site showed me a bunch of people I actually remembered from high school. Like this guy Ricky. He was a cool guy. He lives in Georgia, now. Better than Kansas, I suppose.
If you want to be my Facebook friend, just look up Dustin Bacon. It shouldn't be too hard.
Facebook. Just another way for the world to tell me that I don't matter.
The Beginning...
This is the first time I've ever done anything like this.
Well, I suppose that's not entirely true.
I used to have a maxpages website. Remember maxpages? Neither do I! I had a page there for a few years that I shared with my friends. We called ourselves 'photogs' and we thought we were gonna make movies. Ah, we were so young, so foolish.
But now I have a new free corner of the internet on which to type whatever the hell comes to mind.
"This is Uplift", my friend Titus would say. But he's not here, right now.
I think I'm going to post some of my old short films on YouTube. I can't wait to see how quickly they get removed. I honestly don't think anyone will ever read this blog. And honestly, why would they?
But I'm still here, damnit, and nothing's gonna change that. Except maybe cancer.
Well, I suppose that's not entirely true.
I used to have a maxpages website. Remember maxpages? Neither do I! I had a page there for a few years that I shared with my friends. We called ourselves 'photogs' and we thought we were gonna make movies. Ah, we were so young, so foolish.
But now I have a new free corner of the internet on which to type whatever the hell comes to mind.
"This is Uplift", my friend Titus would say. But he's not here, right now.
I think I'm going to post some of my old short films on YouTube. I can't wait to see how quickly they get removed. I honestly don't think anyone will ever read this blog. And honestly, why would they?
But I'm still here, damnit, and nothing's gonna change that. Except maybe cancer.
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