I'm sure you've realized by now that when I mentioned that I would "think of something" to post on Halloween in my previous post, I actually didn't think of anything at all, since I haven't posted anything new in a month. I was trying to maintain a schedule here, what with the new podcast and all, but then I basically just skipped the entire month of November. But all that's in the past now. I mean it's all literally in the past now, but I was speaking figuratively, of course. You might be wondering if I have any plans at all for the month of December, which has, historically speaking, been a pretty big deal around these parts. The answer, unfortunately, is "not really". I'm sure I'll do something to commemorate the holidays, but I won't be reviewing a few dozen movies, or even half a dozen, or perhaps not any movies at all. I have no idea what the future holds in that regard, and as such I've declined to make any concrete plans. But something's going to happen here next month. Something Christmas-related, to be sure. Aside from that vague assurance, I've got nothing else to offer.
That's not entirely true. I do have a brand new episode of Trappo's Chap House to offer this fine day, and that's nothing to sneeze at. Seriously, if you do have to sneeze, cover you fucking mouth. I was at the supermarket last week, just trying to get my groceries and get the fuck out, and some little kid just walked by and sneezed right on my leg. She couldn't have been more than five years old. No mask. Didn't bother to even attempt to deflect her sneeze in any meaningful way. She just belted it out, right on my fucking leg. Her glassy-eyed mother, who was also not wearing a mask, just stared blankly ahead while they walked on by. I instinctively recoiled and yelled "what the fuck", because we're in the middle of a fucking plague, but this didn't even phase them, as they failed to acknowledge my presence. I nearly had a panic attack after this. The whole experience still haunts me.
What the hell is wrong with people? What is wrong with you?! Wear a mask! If you have an ounce of empathy, of simple human compassion, wear a fucking mask! And wear it properly, you stupid pricks! Don't keep your nose poking out so you can "breathe unencumbered", because that completely defeats the purpose of wearing the mask in the first place! This is why we're so screwed. The numbers keep going up, and the hospitals are overwhelmed, but nothing's getting any better, because there are too many abhorrent trolls out there who don't give a shit about anybody but themselves. The virus is a hoax. It's no worse than the flu. Only the old and sick are at any risk. We need herd immunity. I don't trust no vaccine. Masks don't work. We can't live in fear. The cure is worse than the disease. But muh economy! That rotten bastard Trump turned this into a political issue and his brainless cult would follow him off a fucking cliff and die smiling, so here we are, completely fucked, with no end in sight.
Happy fucking Holidays, boys and girls! You're all getting COVID-19 for Christmas!
Santa Claus won't be delivering toys to all the good girls and boys this year because he's on a ventilator at the North Pole ICU, fighting for his life, and Mrs. Claus can't even visit him in person because she's a high risk individual, so a nurse in full PPE has to hold the phone up to Santa's gnarled ear every evening so she can tell him how much she loves him while tears are streaming down her weathered face. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
Anyway, this week's exciting episode, entitled Circle Jerk Of Evil, is really something special. There's discussion about the current dreadful state of the world, and the life and times of Rick Moranis, which naturally leads to some Ghostbusters talk, Ky nearly sets himself on fire, goblins infest the Chap House, and then we wrap things up with the latest sign of the impending end of the world, Zack Snyder's Justice League project for HBO Max. You can listen below, or just find it on iTunes. While you're checking it out over there, why don't you just save yourself a lot of trouble and subscribe to the podcast? You'll automatically get the latest episodes whenever they drop, and you won't have to worry about coming back here and reading whatever drivel I pound out on a keyboard just to get your regular Chap House fix.
Chapter 27: Circle Jerk Of Evil
That's it for now. I'll probably be back next week. Probably. Who knows? I could be dead in a week. You could be dead in a week. We could all be dead in a week. But if I'm not dead in a week, I'll probably be back here, inflicting the latest episode of this podcast that a dozen people listen to upon this reeking garbage heap of a world. We'll see. Until then... uh...
Stay Spooky, Motherfuckers!
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