I Broke My Stickshift - A Preamble
Obviously, that one was a remake of a 1981 Canadian slasher flick of the same name. I'm not the biggest fan of the original My Bloody Valentine. The overall story is fine, and I really enjoy the ending, with crazy one-armed Axel running through the old mine singing "daddy's gone away, Harry Warden made him pay". At least, I think that's what he was singing. It's entirely possible that I am misremembering the lyrics. But I stand by the sentiment.
Considering the state of the slasher genre in 1981, until the film's climax one might be inclined to believe that the lunatic cannibal/miner Harry Warden is the true culprit behind the seasonal slayings. Then the film throws the audience a curveball when it's revealed that the true killer is young Axel, who witnessed the brutal murder of his father at the hands of Harry Warden when he was a wee lad. A decent twist, to be sure. Too bad the damned movie suffers from the cardinal sin of the slasher genre: it's often incredibly boring.
Most of the actors are, let's say "inexperienced", and don't seem to know how to actually act. The end result: a film infested with stiff, unconvincing performances. As far as problems go, that's a pretty big one. Now I know that the vast majority of performances in your average slasher flick are hardly Oscar-worthy, but at least the major players in the best installments of the Friday The 13th and Halloween franchises can pretend to be believably frightened on camera. The original My Bloody Valentine, cool twist or not, falls dreadfully short of that mark. Also: no nudity. Come on!
I think the Patrick Lussier-helmed remake blows the original out of the water. Actors like Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Tom Atkins(!) and Kerr Smith can actually emote, and there are some fun and inventive kills. On top of that, the movie had a ball with its good old-fashioned in-your-face 3D effects, including some very tasteful nudity. It was just a lot of fun.
I was aware of both Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer before this film. Todd Farmer had previously written the shark-jumping tenth installment of the Friday The 13th series, Jason X. I understand this movie is not well-liked, and this saddens me. It's a big dumb movie, without a doubt. But it's also irreverent and entertaining. So much more entertaining than it had any right to be, considering it's the ninth sequel to a two-decade old slasher movie, and that it takes place in space.
Usually sending your villain into the black is just a bad idea. Just the thought conjures old memories of Hellraiser: Bloodline and Leprechaun 4: In Space. But dammit, Jason X is a fucking blast. For God's sake, it opens with a cameo from David Cronenberg as the guy who decides to put Jason Voorhees in cryogenic suspension because he's impossible to fucking kill. Sure, it's not a perfect movie, but I enjoy it a whole hell of a lot more than every other Friday The 13th sequel past Jason Lives!. Todd Farmer did a fine job writing the film, embracing the completely ridiculous premise and just rolling with the inanity.
Patrick Lussier was Wes Craven's trusty editor since 1994's New Nightmare. He set out on his own as a director with the double whammy of The Prophecy 3: The Ascent and Dracula 2000 in... well, the year 2000. The Prophecy 3 is worth watching for Christopher Walken's ridiculous hobo wig alone. It's also an oddly satisfying conclusion to the story originated in 1995's original film. We get the culmination of the rogue angels' war on mankind with the rise of Pyriel, the Angel of Genocide (seriously!), destined to battle with the teenaged Nephilim Danyael, the bastard offspring of the previous film's human hottie Jennifer Beals and stoic angel Russell Wong.
Walken reprises his role as Gabriel, now struck down from his heavenly status, existing as one of the filthy talking monkeys he despises so much. Oddly, our boy Gabriel has taken a liking to his newfound mortality, finding much joy in eating donuts and actually driving himself around (his disdain for driving was a running gag in the previous films). So he takes young Danyael under his wing (giggle), training him for his inevitable confrontation with the badass Pyriel. In the end, everything works out for the best. Pyriel is slain, Danyael gets the girl, and Gabriel is forgiven by the Man Upstairs, ascending to Heaven with a wink and a smile.
You know, re-reading what I just typed, a shudder traveled up my spine when I realized that I typed all of that out of memory. Hmmm... I'm a fan of the Prophecy trilogy. None of the films are high art, but I like the mythology the films build throughout, and part 2 features Eric Roberts and Glenn Danzig, which never hurts. I've been informed that there were two more sequels featuring Kari Wuhrer, but I don't think those films actually exist.
Anyhoo, that brings us to Dracula 2000. I saw this movie on Christmas Day with my cousin Ky and the ghost of my friend Scott. Well, technically we saw it at night on Christmas Day. Christmas Night? Either way, the film isn't terribly good. I do like the reinvention of the Dracula character as none other than Judas Iscariot, cursed by God to walk the earth as an undead ghoul for betraying his son. Well, I liked the reinvention until I actually thought about it.
God cursed Judas for his betrayal, sure. That makes sense. I mean, fuck that guy, am I right? But God didn't just curse Judas. He cursed the entire human race by creating an immortal, unkillable monster. How many innocent souls were condemned to a fate worse than death by Dracula over the last two millennia? It's difficult to blame Dracula himself for this, because he is what God made him. He has an uncontrollable thirst for human blood. He simply has to feed. So it's God's fault. On the same day that Jesus was dangling from a cross, dying for the sins of mankind, his asshole father was unleashing an unstoppable nightmare on the very same people. That doesn't make any fucking sense.
To make matters worse, the film's actual plot is dumb, most of the actors don't bother to commit to the dialogue, and our lead actress is Justine Waddell, who is some kind of black hole for talent. She's like the empty-eyed forerunner of January Jones. I did get to see flash-in-the-pan pop sensation Vitamin C naked in the film, however. Which was nice, I suppose. It's just not a very good movie. Although it did end up being the inspiration for a long-running joke among my friends.
Let me explain: sitting in the sold-out(!?) auditorium that frosty Christmas Day-Night, we witnessed a poorly-staged action sequence involving a vampirized Omar Epps dueling with a confused Jonny Lee Miller in a parking garage. Miller eventually gets the upper hand, decapitating the once-and-future Eric Foreman. Hey, has anyone ever noticed that Omar Epps' character on House shares the exact same name as Topher Grace's character on That 70's Show? That's fucking weird. But I digress. Omar's severed head flies through the air, finally landing in an open dumpster, I believe. The camera holds on the severed head lying among the detritus for what seems like a good long while, focusing on his frozen, pained expression.
At that point in the film, I wouldn't have been surprised if the severed head actually started talking. So I leaned in to my pal Scott's ear and whispered "this sucks!". Scott looked me full in the face and said "you got that straight!". Obviously he was right. The movie does suck. But I realized after a moment that he misunderstood me. I wasn't referring to the quality of the film. No, I was lamely trying to explain what I half-expected the severed head of Omar Epps to say jokingly to the camera, perhaps with a hearty wink. I clarified my point, stating "no, the head says 'this sucks'".
He stared at me for several moments, trying to comprehend my remark. At last, the pieces finally clicked together in his brain, and he commenced laughing like a senile old man at a Rich Little show for around five minutes. I'm not saying that it was a good joke. It really isn't, all things considered. But every now and again, someone in my small circle of friends will just randomly say "no the head says 'this sucks'" and we all get a chuckle out of it.
I don't like Dracula 2000. But I do like the film's two direct-to-video sequels, Ascension and Legacy. They're not particularly good films in the final analysis. But they manage to be much more entertaining than their (comparatively) big-budgeted predecessor. They feature Jason Scott Lee as a Vatican-trained vampire hunter (fighting his own latent vampirism) hunting the Fanged One, and Jason London as his reluctant partner.
The second film deals primarily with a crippled doctor played by Craig "Nightbreed" Sheffer attempting to harvest Dracula's blood in order to cure himself of his affliction. I thought Dracula was finally killed at the end of the previous film, with Justine Waddell and the former Mr. Angelina Jolie dutifully watching over his earthly remains, lest his evil ever be unleashed upon the world once again. Apparently they did a piss-poor job of it, because Doctor Sheffer didn't have a very hard time procuring the legendary bloodsucker's body for his "world-changing" research. Of course, things don't work out for former actor Craig Sheffer, because while Dracula's blood does indeed fix his legs, it also makes him a woman-beating vampire douchebag. Luckily, Mowgli shows up to crash the monster party, but Dracula gets away after infecting Jason London's boring girlfriend.
This sets up the third film, which follows our heroes as they search Romania for the exiled Dracula and London's imperiled girlfriend. Mowgli inexplicably falls in love with a stranded British TV reporter, they all fight a bunch of European vampire clowns, and get into other wacky situations before finally finding Dracula's dilapidated castle, which is amusingly pockmarked with old satellite dishes. Yes, upon his return from the big dirt nap, Dracula has become a TV junkie.
He has also somehow transformed into Rutger Hauer. This confuses me. It also delights me, because Hauer throws himself into his woefully small role with relish, greedily gnawing on every square inch of available scenery. I enjoy how lazy and decadent this Dracula is, a forest of IV tubes dangling from his body, feeding him a constant stream of blood because he can no longer be bothered to imbibe the old-fashioned way. He also gives a pretty decent monologue as he gazes at a wall of television monitors, commenting on how the human race is much more depraved than he could ever be.
The film ends on a surprising down-note: Jason London kills his vampirized girlfriend upon her request, knowing that it's the only way to truly save her. Mowgli defeats Dracula by drinking his blood and beheading him. As his British muse dies in his arms, begging him to save her, he succumbs to his darker nature, transforming her into a vampire. The story ends with Jason London sitting outside the castle, a sobbing, broken mess as the sun slowly sets. And Mowgli sits on Dracula's throne, clutching his vampire bride, as some jarringly literal text informs us that "the king is dead, long live the king".
Both of the sequels were directed and co-written by Patrick Lussier, and I like them despite their numerous faults. One thing which mystifies me is the fact that Dracula's reimagined origin from the first film is completely dropped in the sequels, never mentioned again. But it's a small detail. Perhaps Lussier realized how ludicrous the "cool" concept truly was, and dropped it like a hot potato.
Wow, I'm supposed to be talking about Drive Angry. I have seriously lost the plot, here. I guess I've been trying to say that despite some problems with their previous work, I consider myself a fan of both Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer. My Bloody Valentine 3D was a blast, and it marked the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
But the real question is this: Is Drive Angry any good?
Fast Cars & Femur Bones - The Story
Spoiler Alert: It is.
The film follows John Milton (Nicolas Cage), a man who recently escaped from Hell, stealing a 1964 Buick Riviera, as well as a badass gun called "Godkiller" from Old Scratch. He's busted out to rescue his infant granddaughter from a Satanic cult led by Jonah King (Billy Burke, A.K.A. Kristen Stewart's father in those fucking Twilight movies), before they can sacrifice the innocent girl during the full moon in an effort to unleash Hell on Earth. Hot on his heels is the Devil's right-hand man, The Accountant (William Fichtner), who will stop at nothing to drag Milton back to Hell.
Pretty much your standard boilerplate, I guess.
On his journey, Milton crosses paths with Piper (Amber Heard), a lovely young woman who has made a few bad life choices. Chief among them is shacking up with the film's writer. Now I don't mean that Amber Heard is fucking Todd Farmer. No, Farmer has a small role in the film playing Frank, Piper's abusive douchebag of a boyfriend. He's a little frustrated because Piper is withholding sex until he proposes marriage. Considering she seeks to marry this winner, perhaps Piper has feelings of low self-worth.
Milton's Riviera gets wrecked, so he needs to find a new ride. Milton happens upon Piper and her lovely '69 Dodge Charger, and surreptitiously sabatoges her ride while she's at work. Later on, Milton "stumbles across" Piper shortly after her car breaks down. He offers to fix her car in exchange for a ride. She agrees, and after a quick repair job, Milton hops in. Now all of our players are in place, and the story can truly begin.
And what about the story? Let's see... Milton and Piper chase after Jonah King, The Accountant chases after Milton, there are some frantic vehicular pursuits, some bang-up shootouts, things blow up real good, Milton takes on a bunch of crazy cultists in a hotel room whilst fucking, smoking, drinking, and wearing sunglasses, then he gets shot in the eye with a crossbow in a church and is left for dead as the cultists kidnap poor Piper.
But it's okay! Milton's already dead, so a crossbow bolt jammed in his ocular cavity won't slow him down. He climbs back into the Charger and chases down King and his posse in their old RV. It's a funny homage to Race With The Devil, only the roles are reversed, with the Satanic cultists stuck in the RV being chased by the good guy in the fast car. Piper escapes King's clutches by jumping out of the RV, onto the Charger's hood. King takes a few potshots at the car's engine, crippling Milton's ride. Oh no!
Not to worry, for Milton's old buddy Webster (Emmanuel Lewis- no wait, Wrong Webster. This one's played by David Morse) conveniently operates a tow truck in the area, and he picks up our heroes. I imagine seeing his old deceased friend calling him up and asking for a ride must be rather disconcerting for old Webster. Back at Webster's place, Milton tells Piper what happened to his daughter, and how his infant grandbaby landed in the talons of the insidious Jonah King.
It seems that after Milton shuffled off his mortal coil, his poor wayward daughter tried to find a new family with the charismatic asshole Jonah and his "family". It didn't take her long to wise up and realize that King simply wasn't the man for her, so she ran away and found a better life. She had a decent job, a new guy in her life, and a brand-new baby girl. Alas, Mr. King tracked down his old flame, murdered her new beau, and forced the poor girl to give him head. Understandably upset, she chewed off Jonah's little head (because fuck that guy) and he murdered her for her trouble, stealing her daughter for his disturbing ritual.
Meanwhile, The Accountant (posing as an FBI agent) finds out about Jonah's cult and what they intend to do with Milton's granddaughter. This does not sit well with The Accountant for two reasons. The first being that Hell is essentially the biggest, baddest prison in existence, and the cult's "Hell On Earth" plan will serve to loose a multitude of infernal inmates on the world. Not good for business. Secondly, both The Accountant and Lucifer aren't really big fans of innocent babies being sacrificed in The Dark One's name.
So he decides to help Milton out by breaking up a police roadblock by driving a hydrogen fuel tanker into the whole mess and blowing it sky high. This does not make Sheriff Tom Atkins happy. But that's cool, because we never see him again, anyway.
Back at Webster's place, he loans Milton a '71 Chevelle for the final leg of his journey of vengeance, and they say their goodbyes. When Milton and Piper finally reach the site of the sacrifice (an abandoned prison), The Accountant refrains from actually helping Milton in his fight, but wishes him luck in this endeavor. Milton proceeds to either shoot, immolate or run over basically every single last one of King's cultists, before blasting the man himself with the Godkiller, obliterating the dickless asshole's soul in a surprisingly colorful display of digital pyrotechnics.
His job done, Milton "dies" in Piper's arms as she promises that she and Webster will look after his granddaughter. After they depart the prison with the baby, Milton wakes up and drinks a beer out of Jonah King's bloody skull, sharing a casual conversation with The Accountant. The Accountant conjures a new ride with his... accounting powers, and tells Milton that it's time to go back to Hell. Milton agrees, but only if he gets to drive. So these new friends take the long road back to Perdition, with Milton promising to escape again, and The Accountant eagerly awaiting the challenge of tracking him down once more.
Vroom Vroom! - Bullshit Analysis
I really enjoyed Drive Angry. I was very excited to see this damned movie, and it didn't disappoint me. It's like that decent Ghost Rider movie we never got. Of course, with the Crank duology wizards Neveldine and Taylor writing and directing the next Ghost Rider movie, we might actually get a decent one of those, as well. But that's neither here nor there.
I haven't seen too many films thus far in this new year, mostly because the options have not been appealing. The closest thing to a good movie I've actually seen until now has been The Green Hornet, and that one was merely okay. But Drive Angry fulfilled my expectations. Sure, if you attempt to dissect the film's story, you'll find that it's nothing earth-shattering, more of a threadbare excuse to string together a series of (very entertaining) action sequences, but you know what? That's just fine. Not every movie has to be Academy Award Winner The King's Speech. Drive Angry is a big, loud, violent slice of "fuck you, boredom!", and I was with it every step of the way. It even surprised me from time to time.
Billy Burke's central villain, the honorable Mr. Jonah King, is a real snake. Just a slippery, hateful bastard with a rockstar swagger. How deplorable is he? He actually fashioned a walking stick out of a femur bone. But not just any femur bone. This bone once belonged to John Milton's daughter. So this asshole saunters around the American South brandishing a constant memento of the girl who broke his heart, and his manhood. He even beats the shit out Milton with his swank walking stick at one point, as he explains its origin. That's just fucked up. And I've never seen that in a movie before.
Amber Heard, an actress I am only partially familiar with due to her small roles in Zombieland and Pineapple Express, is a very capable co-pilot for Sir Nicolas Cage. She's a foul-mouthed young lady, but her tough girl schtick never rings false. I was worried she might come across as more of a poseur from the film's theatrical trailers, but my doubts were thrown out the window. When Piper learns the truth of Milton's mission, she doesn't ask a bunch of questions, and she doesn't throw up her hands in disbelief. She just rolls with it, committing to his quest to save that innocent baby girl from a horrific fate. She finally finds a purpose in her life, and becomes a determined, badass chick.
Plus, the film never attempts to manufacture a love story between her and Milton. Their relationship remains thankfully platonic. Maybe she'll end up marrying Webster. Hey, it could happen!
Speaking of Webster, it was cool to see David Morse pop up. I've always liked the guy. His role isn't a terribly large one, but in the end it's a pretty important one. Without him, Milton and Piper would have been stranded on the highway, and that baby girl would be doomed. So in a way, Webster is the real hero of the film. Yeah, yeah that's right. He's like James Marsden in Superman Returns. Also, he doesn't die! As soon as Webster was introduced, I was sure that Jonah Hill and his cult buddies were going to kill the poor bastard for trying to help out his old friend. I was incredibly relieved when this did not come to pass.
Webster lives to fight another day!
Nicolas Cage is... well, what can I say? If you've ever read this horrible excuse for a blog in the past, then you probably know my feelings regarding the man. Even in some of the worst dreck out there (and he's been in plenty of it), Cage is usually very entertaining. He's just such a fucking weirdo, and that tends to rub off on his onscreen roles, translating to something you may not be able to call "good", but you can certainly call it "interesting".
Every now and then, Cage gives the world an electric, amazing performance like in Vampire's Kiss, Wild At Heart, Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans or Kick-Ass. But usually we're given films like Bangkok Dangerous, Knowing and Season Of The Witch. Those films are not quality cinema. But I still enjoy Cage's work in those films. His performances are not on the same level as his other, better films, but he's still entertaining. He really does work a lot, man.
I understand he's had some recent issues with the IRS, kinda like Ric Flair. And also like Ric Flair, he's fucking awesome. I think the Ric Flair analogy is apt, because while Flair is currently slumming on TNA Wrestling, his insane, over-the-hill theatrics are the most entertaining thing there. He's the best aspect of the horrible, horrible TNA Wrestling brand. Just as Nic Cage is the best aspect of his horrible, horrible films. Wow, that doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement, does it?
Understand me when I tell you that I am a true blue, dyed-in-the-wool Nicolas Cage fan. Always have been, always will be. I have watched many terrible films because of Cage's involvement in them, and despite their lack of quality, I've never really been disappointed in Cage's performances. Besides, I'll gladly weather a Guarding Tess or a Honeymoon In Vegas for something as amazing as Bringing Out The Dead or Leaving Las Vegas. Tell me who else could possibly deliver the kind of brilliant performance Cage gave us in his Bad Lieutenant film? No-fucking-body, that's who.
I think Cage does a great job in Drive Angry. Considering his character in the film has recently escaped from Hell, one might be inclined to think that Cage will bring a manic intensity to the character. Something akin to his Terence McDonagh in Bad Lieutenant. It's understandable. I mean, he's been in Hell, he can't just come back without any pschological damage. But instead, Nicolas Cage gives John Milton more of a stoic, pissed-off vibe. He's not really back on Earth to cut loose. He's come back for one specific purpose: to save his granddaughter.
Besides, Milton was never a lunatic. He did plenty of bad things in his life. After all, that's why he ended up in the Pit Of Eternal Darkness. But at heart he's actually... *gasp* a decent guy?! The reason why he abandoned his daughter in the first place was to keep her safe from the people he associated himself with. He knew the kind of person he was, and didn't want his daughter to end up like him. He isn't a sociopath, he's a violent criminal with his own personal code. That code didn't save him from damnation, but he hoped that he could spare his daughter a similar fate.
Some people may have the nerve to call Cage's performance "boring", but those people are misguided. He's a relatively quiet man who allows his very violent actions to speak for him. I read in an online interview that Cage chose to play this role with a "zen mystic" quality. I know that sounds like garbage, but I could actually see that in his performance. In his interpretation, Milton's time in Hell has actually centered him. When he learns that his granddaughter is imperiled, he focuses all of his rage into a single-minded purpose. He's not after redemption, and he never gets it. He only wants to save this innocent child that will never know him. That's true nobility.
Not to say that Milton doesn't cut loose from time to time. When he is engaged in his numerous shoot-outs with the cultists who wronged his family, he's clearly having a very good time cutting through these assholes. From time to time, that familiar unhinged glint in his eye surfaces, as does that manic grin. The crazy is still there, it's just simmering under the surface. I actually thought it was something of a nuanced performance. Of course, I'm off my meds, so what do I know?
Cage does get a genuine "acting moment" in the film, and I think it's just great. After Webster plucks our heroes off the highway and brings them back to his place, the film gives us a quiet moment before the bloody finale. Milton stands like a statue, staring at the rolling flames in an old rusty barrel. His eyes are far away and haunted. Eventually he begins to speak. He tells his friends that the true torment of Hell isn't a physical one: it's being forced to watch the ones you love suffer on Earth, knowing that there's nothing you can do to help them. Milton was forced to watch his daughter's brutal murder at the hands of Jonah King, and couldn't do a damned thing to stop it.
In this sequence, Nicolas Cage sells his dialogue like an old pro. From his quiet line delivery, to the contrast of his haunted eyes set in a nearly emotionless face, I was shocked. Sure, I was completely in this film's pocket before this point, but I didn't expect a "real" moment like this. After this sequence ended, I was in love with the movie. Thank you, Nicolas Cage.
Of course, what would Drive Angry be without William Fichtner as "The Accountant"? A poorer film, no doubt. He's always been a fantastic character actor, and he can do convincing drama in his sleep. Seriously, I think if somebody filmed him sleeping in his bed, it could be quite dramatic. But Fichtner is rarely tapped for a comedic role. In fact, aside from his voice work in a few Grand Theft Auto games, the last comedic role I can remember Fichtner in was 1999's Go. And he was great there. Why can't we get this man in more loose, funny roles? He's certainly capable.
And he's fan-fucking-tastic in Drive Angry. Absolutely brilliant. Fichtner plays "The Accountant" as a guy who really loves his job. It's clear that he so rarely gets the opportunity to come to Earth and track down any escapees, so he seems to treat this field trip like a vacation. Over time he relaxes, relishing the thrill of the chase. He pretends to be an FBI agent in order to enlist the help of local law enforcement in finding Milton, and every time he brandishes his identification, he conjures it with the theatrical flourish of a skilled magician. He enjoys mystifying the yokels.
The Accountant tackles every situation with the detached amusement of a man who is truly untouchable. He carries himself with a very amusing self-assurance, like an undercover alien who knows that he's superior to these comical human beings. He just takes everything in stride, even almost getting annihilated by the dreaded Godkiller. As much as I like Nicolas Cage in the film, William Fichtner is Drive Angry's MVP. I'd go so far as to say that his performance is the real reason to see the movie. He's also the source of my two favorite moments in the film:
1) Driving a hydrogen fuel truck into a police blockade, bobbing his head along to the tune of "That's The Way I Like It" by Easy Action on the radio. It's a short moment, but it's absolutely hilarious.
2) Interrogating waitress Katy Mixon (yowza!) in front of a diner, he suddenly adopts the mannerisms of an awkward teenager trying to muster the courage to ask her out on a date. Before he leaves, he even leans in to smell her hair, hesitating for just a moment too long, as if he's about to inquire as to when she gets off work, before he realizes that business comes before pleasure as he walks away to continue his search for Milton. Amazing stuff.
The movie never treats The Accountant as a villain, which was a good decision. He's just a guy trying to do his job. In the end, he's revealed to be a very reasonable, even compassionate man. He's also the coolest motherfucker in the the picture. Bravo, William Fichtner. Perhaps this will open a few comedic doors for the man in Hollywood. I doubt it, but anything's possible, I suppose.
I was so happy when I exited the auditorium after seeing Drive Angry. Finally a truly good movie. A funny, sometimes clever script, entertaining action, cool characters, graphic violence, nudity, shit exploding and flying at my face in 3D, and Tom Atkins. Who could ask for anything more?
I hope Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer stick together for a while. They make a damned good team. They've recently been tapped as the most recent duo to tackle the inevitable Hellraiser remake. Despite my misgivings with the whole endeavor, I think these guys might actually make a worthwhile film out of it. One piece of advice, however: go back to the original novella The Hellbound Heart and make Pinhead a woman. You can't compete with Doug Bradley's iconic performance, so take it in a different direction. Good luck with it, guys.
P.S. - Adjustment Bureau review coming soon. As well as a brand-new podcast. By request, no less!
Nothin' but shit for two months, and this movie was a welcome relief. Too bad nobody saw it, though. Cool review.
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