So last week, I nearly lost my mind while writing a blog entry. I don't know what went wrong, exactly.Sure, "Date Night" was mediocre, but it wasn't an abomination. A lot of bad elements in the film just came together, creating a perfect storm of anger inside my head.
Luckily, I don't have that problem, this week. Because this week, I saw "Kick-Ass".
For those of you who aren't "in the know", as the cool kids like to say, "Kick-Ass" is a film directed by Matthew Vaughn, based on the comic book written by Mark Millar.
The comic book sucks. But that's par for the course with Mark Millar. Maybe there's something wrong with me (heh, heh), but I just don't get the fanboy love for this guy.
He's good with premises, I'll give him that.
"Kick-Ass" is about a teenager inspired by comic book superheroics who decides to become a costumed vigilante, and repeatedly gets beaten half to death for his trouble.
"Wanted" takes place in a world where the supervillains have won, killed all of the heroes, and have literally rewritten history, making the people of the world believe that the superheroes and villains never really existed. They rule the fucking world.
"Wolverine: Old Man Logan" is basically "Unforgiven" with everyone's favorite over-exposed Canadian mutant.
The problem Millar has is with the execution of these concepts. Instead of doing anything worthwhile with his stories, time and time again he descends into shock value and gross-out humor that serves no real purpose. His act has grown tiresome.
For me, anyway. The man has a rabid fanbase, and they hate it when people disagree with their opinion that Mark Millar is a fucking genius. They're the juggalos of the comic book community.
I read "Kick-Ass" when the series was finally released in a hardcover collection a few months ago. This collection was originally slated for release around Christmas, 2008. Obviously, it was delayed. Issue #1 was released in February, 2008. Issue #7 wasn't released until October, 2009, I believe.
That's one hell of a delay, right there.
Long story short, I hated it. The only real saving grace to the whole fiasco was John Romita, Jr's artwork. He's a talented guy, and he should be working with better writers. After reading the source material, I was a little worried about the film.
I'm a big fan of this Matthew Vaughn fella, and my hero, Nicolas Cage was playing "Big Daddy", but it was based on a rather tepid graphic novel by Mark "Tunk" Millar. But CHUD's Devin Faraci gave it a perfect 10 out of 10, and I tend to agree with his opinions more often than not.
"Ambivalence" is the word of the day, children.
My worries were unfounded. "Kick-Ass" the film stabs "Kick-Ass" the comic in the face with a switchblade, tosses it in an alleyway dumpster, douses it with gasoline, and sets it on fire.
Matthew Vaughn and his co-writer Jane Goldman, have taken the great premise of the comic, and they have made it into a great movie, while removing all of the elements that made the comic so terrible.
In the comic, the main character, Dave Lizewski, is a creep. He's an unlikeable, sexually frustrated douchebag who wants to be a superhero because he thinks it's cool. His two best (only) friends are non-entities who really only exist at the beginning of the narrative to make up a new swear word (don't get me started on that pointless garbage.).
He likes the fucking Goo Goo Dolls, for pity's sake! What fucking teenager, in this day and age, likes the fucking Goo Goo Dolls?!
The film manages to make Dave relatable. Aaron Johnson plays Dave as a sexually frustrated loser who wants to become a superhero because he thinks it's cool, but also because he genuinely wants to help people.
Dave knows people are being victimized out there, and nobody lifts a finger to help the victims. He's been the target of muggers, and he's seen people turn their heads when they could stand up for their fellow man.
Sure, Dave likes all the attention he gets after Kick-Ass becomes an internet sensation. He's got more MySpace friends than God, and his local comic book shop is festooned with Kick-Ass memorabilia. He feels like a rock star.
He doesn't do much crime-fighting, though. After a video of Kick-Ass fighting off a trio of thugs becomes the biggest video ever on YouTube, Dave spends most of his time searching for a lost cat. This leads to one of my favorite lines of the movie: "Fuck you, Mister Bitey!"
Things get much more serious for our hero, later on. He makes new superhero friends, gets betrayed, then brutally beaten and tortured. After Hit Girl saves him, he could walk away. He could go home, toss his costume in the garbage and move on with his life.
But he doesn't. Dave throws himself into harm's way, because it's the right thing to do. He steps up and becomes a hero. Aaron Johnson sells this transformation brilliantly. Staring at his bloodied, bruised face in a bathroom mirror, Johnson's eyes tell the whole story.
This isn't his fight, but he's not running away.
And when Kick-Ass rises over the terrace of Frank D'Amico's luxurious highrise apartment, strapped to a jet pack with equipped twin gatling guns, while Elvis Presley's rendition of "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" plays, I couldn't keep my goofy smile from spreading.
Speaking of Frank D'Amico, Mark Strong is fantastic. He takes a one-note mob boss caricature from the book and turns him into a real human being. Strong's Frank D'Amico is a loving father, a ruthless son of a bitch, and a surprisingly funny man.
Some of the film's best laughs are all thanks to Mark Strong. He has fantastic comedic timing.
There's a scene late in the game when the D'Amico home is under siege by Hit Girl. She's basically wiped out his entire crew. Frank's personal bodyguard enters his office, telling the boss that everything's under control, as he inches toward the bazooka leaning aganst the wall.
When his bodyguard grabs the bazooka, he looks at Frank, silently asking for permission to use this badass weapon and cause serious structural damage to his house. You can see the conflict in Mark Strong's face as he weighs the pros and cons of using the bazooka in his home. He clearly thinks it's a bad idea, but eventually relents with a silent nod.
It's a small moment, but it's hilarious.
Strong also sells the relationship between Frank and his nerdy son, Chris, played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse. In the book, there's no connection. Sure, we're told that Chris is Frank D'Amico's son, but there's never any real relationship between the two until the final issue, when Red Mist's plan comes to fruition, making his daddy proud.
In the film, father and son actually spend time together. He takes his son to the movies, he watches The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson with his family, and he generally feels like a real father. He clearly loves his son, he just doesn't think the kid is cut out for his line of work.
Mintz-Plasse is great as Chris D'Amico. He's a lonely nerd who has no real friends because all of his classmates are too afraid to talk to him. With his father's reputation, it's difficult to find a kid with the balls to be Chris' friend.
He has a serious chip on his shoulder, and he wants his father to take him seriously. When his father's interests are attacked by Big Daddy and Hit Girl, Chris comes up with a plan to serve them up to his father on a silver platter.
And so he invents Red Mist as a flashy new crime fighter on the scene, befriending Kick-Ass so that he can lead Red Mist to Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Chris just wants his father to see him as the heir to his criminal empire, and by the climax of the film, he does.
He finally gets his father's respect, only to have his father get blown the fuck up with a bazooka. Thus, a true supervillain is born. Mintz-Plasse might be overlooked by most people who see the film, but he really is turning in a great performance.
But Chloe Moretz is turning in an iconic performance as Hit Girl. One moment, she's the cutest little girl in the world, playing with a knife and begging for her father's attention. The next moment, she's cutting through a room full of thugs, shredding them with disturbing precision.
I can't stress enough how amazing Chloe Moretz is in this film. She manages to make an eleven year-old girl in a silly costume a credible threat against a small army of heavily armed mob goons. Hit Girl is dangerous.
She asks for knives as a birthday present, and her dad shoots her then takes her out for ice cream. When Kick-Ass asks how he can contact Hit Girl, she sarcastically replies that the mayor has a special signal he shines in the sky, shaped like a giant cock.
She is efficient with all manner of guns and blades, she swears like a sailor, and she can take a punch like a man. You do not want to fuck with Hit Girl.
And Chloe Moretz effortlessly plays this character. Her body language, her insanely expressive eyes, and her trademarked "Hit Girl Sneer", coupled with her natural, relaxed line delivery, make Hit Girl the most memorable character in this film.
She is a revelation.
I'm a huge fan of the swedish vampire film, "Let The Right One In". It's essentially about a little boy who becomes friends with a little girl who happens to be a vampire, but it is so much more than that. It's a masterpiece. And it deserves to be seen.
So of course, Hollywood decided to remake it. I had absolutely no interest in this remake. Until I learned that Chloe Moretz was cast as the vampire "Eli", renamed "Abby" in the remake, now titled "Let Me In".
Now, much to my surprise, I am actually excited to see "Let Me In". That's how good Chloe Moretz was in "Kick-Ass". She has made me want to see a film that I reject on principle. Congratulations.
But what about Nicolas Cage?
Well, he's Nicolas Fucking Cage, and I love the man.
I first saw Cage in "Vampire's Kiss", when I was 8 years old. At the time, I thought that a camera crew was just following a crazy person who thought he was a vampire. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his utterly committed performance. He had my fragile young mind entranced.
I've been a fan ever since. From "Raising Arizona", "Wild At Heart", "Kiss Of Death", "Face/Off", Leaving Las Vegas", "8mm", "Bringing Out The Dead"... I could go on and on.
Bottom line: I have never seen a Nicolas Cage performance that I didn't enjoy. Don't get me wrong. He's been in plenty of bad films. And he's been bad in plenty of films. But even his bad performances have an energy to them, a slightly mad quality that makes them endlessly watchable.
Take "Trapped In Paradise". It's not a good film. Far from it. But Nicolas Cage adopts a bizarre, uneven drawl that never even approaches a genuine Brooklyn accent, and it works for me. It's so weird, that I couldn't help but be entertained.
What about "Ghost Rider"? His Johnny Blaze is a faux-southern lunatic who eats jellybeans out of a martini glass and watches chimpanzees practice their kung-fu skills to unwind after smashing his face in a motorcycle jump gone horribly wrong. The movie sucks, but dammit, he keeps me watching.
And his cameo as Fu Manchu in Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women Of The S.S." trailer is fucking awesome.
I am an unabashed, eternal Nicolas Cage fan.
He's probably my favorite element to "Kick-Ass". His Big Daddy is a revenge-driven ex-cop, a man who had his life torn away from him by Frank D'Amico, and he has dedicated himself to destroying the man, piece by piece.
He has also dedicated his daughter to this cause. Training her to become a ruthless killer, Big Daddy has essentially brainwashed his little girl, and this behavior is beyond morally questionable. She could have lived some semblance of a normal life with Big Daddy's ex-partner on the police force, but instead, he has drafted her to fight his war against Frank D'Amico.
It's difficult to like the character of Big Daddy, knowing what he has done to his daughter. But Nicolas Cage makes you like him. You see his position. He feels like he doesn't have a choice. Frank D'Amico destroyed their family, and destroying Frank D'Amico should be a family affair.
The relationship between Big Daddy and Hit Girl is very touching. They feel like a real family. He loves his daughter, and she loves him. You might take your kids to the park, but their idea of "Quality Time" just happens to be killing mobsters.
Cage infuses his role with a collection of awkward body language, goofy laughter and an awesome moustache. At first glance, he looks like a bit of a pushover. He's a nice guy, even a little playful, if old-fashioned.
But when he's Big Daddy, he's all business, a killing machine. Yet he speaks in the halting tones of Adam West's Batman, completely at odds with his out-of-costume persona. It's a brilliant choice by Nicolas Cage, and it's a very inventive way to disguise his voice.
Much more effective than Christian Bale's off-putting, sore-throated vocal affectation in Chris Nolan's Batman films.
There's a sequence where Big Daddy infiltrates one of Frank D'Amico's legitimate business fronts, and he executes all of D'Amico's goons with brutal efficiency, before burning the place down.
It's a fantastic scene, with very tight choreography, and it's my favorite part of the film. This is the scene that made me fall in love with "Kick-Ass".
Despite my irrational love for Nicolas Cage, and the fact that I would probably follow the man off a fucking cliff, between "Kick-Ass" and "Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans", it's nice to see the man in genuinely great films, again.
For the first time in years, I can like a Nicolas Cage performance without feeling slightly ashamed.
So "Kick-Ass" is an amazing fucking movie. If you don't see it in theatres, then you are an asshole.
And God Bless Nicolas Cage.
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