Thanks For The Mammaries!

I was not a big fan of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part One. It felt tedious, and the epic "adventures in camping" sequence left me cold. But as soon as it was over, I knew that Part Two would be allowed to focus on the big action and big drama that made the literary finale of the Harry Potter franchise so satisfying. The previous film seemed like something the audience had to endure in order to get to the really good stuff.

In my review for Part One, I already commented on how much I enjoyed the film series and its casting continuity, so I won't waste my time playing the broken record in this post. But that leaves me with a conundrum. Honestly, I don't know how to write up a review for this film. I could do my usual routine, recapping the plot with the occasional (highly inappropriate) tangent, leading to some sort of half-assed analysis that inevitably leaves both myself and my very limited audience unsatisfied. But I don't really have that much to say. So I think I'll just keep this short and sweet.

Keeping It Surreal - (Not) A Review

I enjoyed the film. A lot. I thought it was a perfectly satisfying conclusion to a very well made movie franchise. It was great seeing Neville Longbottom get his big heroic moment facing off against Voldemort's pet snake/soul depository. My eyes grew a little damp when Harry delved through  Severus Snape's memories, revealing the man he saw as a cowardly villain to be a truly noble and selfless character. And the dampness returned during the film's epilogue, when an older Harry told his young son that Snape was one of the two greatest men he ever knew.

I'm a big Snape fan, and I'm sure most fans of the series feel likewise. If they don't, then they're fucking wrong, and they should be shunned for the rest of their days, forced to live in exile on the outskirts of town, where the buses don't run. Fuck those people.

I liked seeing Professor McGonagall become a geriatric action hero during the extended "siege of Hogwarts" sequence. Seeing Warwick Davis deliver in two prominent roles was a plus for me, being a big fan (get it?) of the diminutive actor. His quiet, menacing conversation with Harry as the devious goblin Griphook in the opening moments of the film was a highlight.

Watching that superbly rendered dragon claw its way out of Gringott's before taking to the sky with our protagonists on its back was wonderful, just a great cinematic moment. The two climactic confrontations between Harry and Voldemort were very well done. I must admit I was nervous about the epilogue beforehand, considering the track record of the application of prosthetics to make young actors look a few decades older, but my fears were unfounded. It was a pitch-perfect denouement not only to this film, but for the entire series.

I was very pleased with Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part Two, and I'm so glad that director David Yates stuck with the franchise for so long. He knocked this one out of the park, methinks. Well done.

Somebody Call Carl Reiner! - One More Thing...

One thing still bothers me, however: did Harry Potter ever officially graduate from Hogwarts? After the apocalyptic events of the final book, which left most of the school in ruins and many faculty members either dead or suffering from PTSD, did Harry ever return to make up that last year? Or did he and his pals all automatically get their... wizarding degrees...? ... from the Ministry Of Magic due to their being instrumental in the downfall of Voldemort, the baddest of all bad dudes to ever wield a wand?

If you ask me, that's the least those bureaucratic fucks could do. I think they passed their final Defense Against The Dark Arts exam with flying colors. Imagine what a slap in the face it would be for Harry Potter to sit back and unwind after saving the fucking world from He Who Shall Not Be Nosed, only to be confronted with an official summons to magical summer school.

I smell a sequel!!!

P.S. - Reviews of Captain America and Cowboys & Aliens are forthcoming.

Also: a new podcast. Because nobody demanded it!

P.P.S. - Why did I make a reference to the film Naked with this post's title when I never even mentioned David Thewlis in the main text? Because I really like Naked. Do I even need a reason?!