Throbbing Shoeboxes (In Surround Sound!)

I was supposed to update this blog last week, to provide you, my theoretical readers, with a brand-new episode of that podcast everybody loves, but I just... didn't. I could have. Perhaps I should have. But I chose not to. I didn't even have a new episode to release, truth be told. It just wasn't ready, and by "wasn't ready", I mean I hadn't bothered to edit the raw audio file into a semi-coherent, relatively short podcast that somebody could sit through without attempting to commit suicide in an effort to escape the realization of the meaninglessness of their existence. I just sat and stared at my computer screen for a while, then shrugged and decided my time would be better spent doing anything else. I wasn't feeling those lighters, kids.

I was overcome with a profound sense of ennui, and I chose to drown my discontent with copious amounts of Wild Turkey. Was that the wrong choice? Look, I'm not a licensed therapist, so I can't know for sure, but it certainly felt right at the time. And it feels right at the moment, which is why I'm going to cut this short and just get on with things. I don't have the patience to sit here and keep typing, and you don't have the patience to keep reading, so let's just move on.

The newest episode of Fuck You, Bigfoot is here, and it's... it's here! Join me and my "friends" Titus and Laura as we discuss the life and times of Patrick Swayze, Superman's dubious cinematic future, Bobby Brown's healing touch, Johnny Depp and his quest to own everything, and the allure of shirtless dudes. If you're not down with this, then you're a scumbag, and you should die:

Chapter 66: Vincent ScissorHeart



There isn't enough booze in the world to fill the sucking void in my heart. But there might just be enough to help me forget about it for a few hours.

TIME MARCHES ON!

EVIL BEWBS