Today's Feature: A Nutcracker Christmas
An ex-ballerina reconsiders her vow to never dance again when she meets an old flame.
Lily (Amy Acker) always dreamed of being a prima ballerina, dancing her way into infamy in the coveted role of the Sugarplum Fairy in a professional production of The Nutcracker, but she lives in some podunk town in Georgia where everybody eats peanuts all day, every day, because that's what happens when you live in Georgia, where peanuts grow like weeds, and there's just not much of a ballet scene.Nevertheless, she trained day and night for years with her big sister Beth (Dead Meat) always standing in her corner. Beth was Lily's biggest fan and admirer for as long as Lily could remember, so obviously she's doomed.
I've seen enough of these movies to realize that's how this shit works. Their mother is a nice enough lady, and she's played by Catherine Mary Stewart, who I adored in The Last Starfighter and Night Of The Comet, but she's a marginal character at best throughout the story, so she's simply not important enough to this narrative for her death to be of any consequence, so poor Beth has pulled the short straw in this situation. But let's all try to act surprised when she shortly suffers a tragic and untimely end, okay?
In time, Lily earns her place in a prestigious ballet company in New York City, each year working her way a little closer to that coveted role of the Sugarplum Fairy in their annual production of The Nutcracker. Beth and her young daughter Sadie frequently visit Lily in the big city, with Sadie taking a particular interest in her beloved aunt's chosen vocation, already training to become a ballerina in her own right at the tender age of five. One big year, Lily finally gets her chance to make her fondest dream come true as she's chosen to play the Sugarplum Fairy, and on the eve of her premiere performance...
Lily's sister Beth is killed in an automobile accident on her way to the airport to catch Lily's premiere. I don't know about you, but I did not see that shit coming. Clearly distraught to hear the news, Lily nonetheless decides to continue with her performance that evening, but her lover and fellow company member Mark (Mark) convinces the director that she isn't in her right mind and may end up hurting herself if she is allowed on stage. So Lily freaks out and calls Mark a shit weasel, then she hops on a plane back to Georgia to mourn her dead sister, choosing to abandon her life in New York City for a quieter existence in Peanut-Ville, raising her orphaned niece (it's never explained what happened to Sadie's father, and he's never even glimpsed before Beth dies, so either he died with Beth in the car accident, or never existed and Sadie was an immaculate conception) and never straps on her ballet slippers again.
That's the end of the movie. It's kind of a downer, but I like it. It's realistic. We don't all get to make our wildest dreams come true, after all. Some of us have to settle for a more unassuming lifestyle. And besides, Lily will eventually get to see her ballet dreams realized in her niece Sadie as she achieves all of the success Lily once wanted for herself, which is almost as good. Besides, where else could this story possibly go? It's already reached its logical conclusion, after all.
I mean, I guess if I had to brainstorm a story to follow what's already transpired, I'd probably have maybe eight years pass, with Lily operating a successful yoga studio in her hometown, raising her niece Sadie as best she can, encouraging her to follow her own dreams and aspirations as a ballerina in her own right.
Then perhaps young Sadie would be chosen as a guest performer for a prestigious ballet academy's annual production of The Nutcracker, not in New York, though, because that's too on the nose. Hmmm... maybe Philadelphia. Yeah, that sounds good. And here's the clincher, the real kick in the pants: it turns out the director of the academy's performance of The Nutcracker is actually Lily's ex-boyfriend Mark. I know, I know, it sounds a little far-fetched, but I think this idea has some real dramatic potential. Also, after Lily broke his heart eight years ago, Mark joined the army for some reason and served two tours in Afghanistan. No, wait, that's too far-fetched. Why the hell would a ballerina just join the army, anyway? Forget that part, that's just stupid.
Over the course of maybe a week, Mark is just everywhere Lily and Sadie find themselves. Christmas tree shopping? There's Mark. Ordering their morning coffee at the local café? Mark's sipping a soy latte in the corner. Running up those famous steps from Rocky at the Philadelphia Art Museum? Mark's already at the top, waiting for them like a trapdoor spider. This very disturbing behavior is seen as cute and endearing to Lily and Sadie, and not as a sign of mental illness on the part of Mark, because this is a Hallmark Channel original movie and not the real world.
Eventually, Mark and Lily would have that big heart-to-heart conversation that all of these movies have at some point in their narratives, and Mark would apologize for insisting that Lily was in no shape to dance on the night Beth died, and Lily would admit that she truly wasn't mentally or emotionally in the right place to be allowed on the stage, after all, and after putting their painful past behind them, perhaps the passionate flames of love would be rekindled between these two crazy kids.
Then maybe some strange things would begin to happen around the ballet company during rehearsals for The Nutcracker. The star of the show, the prima ballerina set to play the Sugarplum Fairy, abruptly quits the production, just disappearing after a heated argument with director Mark. A few days later, the understudy for the role is found mysteriously injured in the studio, her leg broken. She claims that she must have just tripped and fallen while training with Mark. Bad luck,
This incident puts the company in a serious quandary, because now they don't have a Sugarplum Fairy for their production of The Nutcracker. But Mark suddenly gets the bright idea that Lily could come out of retirement to claim the role, finally realizing her childhood dream. After only a little convincing, Lily relents, eager to have her shining moment in the spotlight after eight years of living a life of quiet desperation, living in the shadow of her talented niece in some nowhere town. At last, Lily would be the Sugarplum Fairy. At last, her life would be complete.
And soon after, the young man set to play the Sugarplum Fairy's Cavalier, who shares a spirited dance with the Fairy in Act II, quits the company as well after speaking privately with Mark one night. Nobody ever sees this guy again. Come to think of it, Nobody ever heard from the ballerina originally set to play the Sugarplum Fairy, either. It's like they both just fell off the face of the earth. Weird. Of course Mark knows the role of the Cavalier by heart, so he begrudgingly steps into the role the day before the company's big performance.
The curtain rises, and Mark's company gives the performance of a lifetime as The Nutcracker is brought to stunning life on this magical night. Sadie steals hearts with her endearing portrayal of innocent Clara in Act I, but Act II belongs to Lily's spellbinding depiction of the Sugarplum Fairy, and the audience falls in love with Lily as she dances with her beloved Cavalier in an unforgettable, showstopping sequence that will be talked about for years to come. After the performance, Sadie is offered a full scholarship to the ballet academy, and Lily is offered a teaching position by the academy's board of directors. Mark is thrilled to see the woman he loves finally getting everything she's ever wanted, and all is right in the world. A happy ending, and one worthy of a Hallmark Channel original movie.
But one of the board members, a middle-aged mother whose daughter is a part of the company, is troubled. After hiring out-of-towner Mark to direct their production of The Nutcracker, it was beset by strange occurrences. Mark claims he had no idea Sadie was Lily's niece when he chose her to join the production, but what if he was lying? And both the original performer for the role of the Sugarplum Fairy and the understudy vacating the role in such quick succession? And what about the original Cavalier? Mark told everyone that he chose to leave the production, but nobody actually witnessed this conversation, and he hasn't been heard from since the day he supposedly quit.
Could this truly be just a series of bizarre coincidences? Or was this all part of Mark's elaborate plan to reconnect with the woman he loved, orchestrating the greatest performance of his life, destroying everyone who stood in the way of realizing her fondest aspirations? And does Mark think she suspects him? One gets the feeling that the nosy board member might be taking an extended Christmas vacation...
Yeah. That sounds good. I'll stick with that. But Hallmark Channel would never produce a movie like that. Never. It will be a cold day in Hell when a movie like that version of A Nutcracker Christmas is made. Does anybody else feel a slight chill?
VERDICT: NICE
 |
| Black Swan, this ain't. |
No comments:
Post a Comment