Ninja Assassin? What For?

Thanksgiving.

Why do people eat 'dinner' on Thanksgiving and Christmas so fucking early? 2 PM at the latest, it seems. It never made sense to me.

That's not dinner. That's some kind of 'linner' or 'lupper'. Dinner time rolls around, and it's leftovers, already.

Christ. Don't get me started on leftovers. Fuck turkey sandwiches. It's obscene. I'm not even a big fan of turkey. I prefer chicken. Why can't we eat chicken on Thanksgiving?

Screw the turkey, and screw Benjamin Franklin for his turkey-loving ways. Old pervert.

Anyway... I saw "Ninja Assassin" shortly after the delightful Thanksgiving "linner".

Too much digital blood. Too much focus on the antics of a pair of "Europol" agents investigating all the ninja assassinations. Not enough actual ninja action.

And why does the climactic action sequence involve a bunch of soldiers in Hummers on top of a fucking mountain blowing up ninjas with bazookas? That's not right.

Sho Kosugi was good. So was RAAAAAIIIINNN!!!!!!!!

Not a bad way to spend a couple hours after eating some fucking turkey.

Some little kid walked right into my knee during the movie. Just wandered right into my big fucking knee like he just didn't see it. It wasn't that dark, little kid. Then he wandered away, wheezing like an old man, muttering 'fuck' under his breath. That was surreal.

Almost as surreal as the time when I saw "Jurassic Park 3", and some little toddler wearing nothing but a diaper ambled around the theatre looking for his mommy. He walked right into a wall, fell on his ass, and cried... well... like a baby. It was hilarious.

God, "JP3" sucked. That baby smashing his face against a wall in a darkened theatre was the best thing about the whole experience. I still recall that memory with a fond smile.

Time to watch "Dexter" and cry.