I was meant to be doing this two days ago, but shit got in the way. You know how that is, right? Something unexpected pops up and you have to break a few commitments. That's life! My pal Titus used to say that life is everything that happens to you on your way to the grave. Which is true. You just can't argue with that.
Sure, you might not end up in a grave. You could be cremated and your remains could be scattered across a picturesque green field at sunset. Or maybe you'll be abducted and devoured by a deranged family of inbred cannibals on your way to Branson, Missouri. This happens more than you might think.
The stories don't make the national news because the Branson Mafia pays good money to keep these horrifying tales out of the limelight. But trust me: the Brannibals (that's what they call themselves) are out there. So just avoid Branson at all costs. Seeing Yakov Smirnoff live in concert is not worth your life.
This leads me to the latest installment of Lies My Podcast Told Me, a podcast that has been featured on this very blog since May of 2012. Nearly a year, which is not too shabby. This is the 25th chapter, and it's a doozy. Entitled Counterfeit Pita Pockets, it deals mostly with the disturbing co-mingling of food and sex, which is just unholy. 25 chapters, baby! That's almost a milestone. Yeah... I'm not feeling this. Here's the podcast:
Chapter 25: Counterfeit Pita Pockets
And now I'm done. Something something something later.
TIME MARCHES ON!
People are gonna stop coming to this blog if you keep throwing up nude pictures. The podcast sucked, by the way.
ReplyDeleteIt must be obvious by now that he just doesn't care if he loses readers over this nudity thing, so move on. His last post made that abundantly clear. I thought the new podcast was funny enough. I've got no complaints.
ReplyDeleteFUCK YOU.
ReplyDelete