Just Hanging Out With My Friends, Yo!

I read an article somewhere on this sprawling thing called "internet" that featured actor Simon Pegg's reaction to a recent Star Trek fan poll that rated the brand-new Star Trek Into Darkness as the worst film of the franchise. His response: FUCK YOU.

I suppose that's understandable. After all, he's invested in this new franchise, and he may honestly think the Trek movies in which he's featured are pretty good. That seems like delusional thinking to me, but what do I know? It's not like he's going to pull a Shia LaBeouf and just admit to the world that his big blockbuster movies suck, even if that's how he really feels. And that's probably not how he really feels. He probably thinks that Star Trek Into Darkness is a taut and gripping science fiction thriller worthy of standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan. He's absolutely wrong if that's what he's thinking, but he's entitled to his opinion.

Look at this asshole.

But here's the thing: the nerds who voted Into Darkness as the worst film in the Trek franchise are entitled to their opinion, too. And the guy playing Scotty in the movie the nerds hate telling them to go fuck themselves doesn't mean much. In fact, that might even be seen as a badge of honor to them, because they really seemed to get under the man's skin. He was upset enough with this poll that he badmouthed the people who voted in said poll in a public forum.

Here are some of his remarks:

 

"It absolutely isn't the worst Star Trek movie. It's asinine, you know? It's ridiculous. And frustrating, as well, because a lot of hard work and love went into that movie, and all J.J. wanted to do was make a film that people really enjoyed. So, to be subject to that level of sort of, like, crass fucking ire, I just say fuck you.

"There's a faction within the Star Trek community of kind of like, 'Well, I don't want to watch anything anymore', which is fine. And, absolutely, they are entitled to that. You know, it's not for them, really. It's kind of for everyone.

"Into Darkness is the most successful Star Trek movie ever made. It is, in terms of what it took at the box office and how many people went to see it. More people saw that film than any iteration of Star Trek that existed before. That is probably slightly annoying to some fans, which I totally understand."

First off, Pegg's box office statement is an out-and-out lie. Into Darkness fell below financial expectations in both the domestic and international box office, falling short of matching 2009's Trek reboot gross of 257 million dollars domestic and 385 million dollars worldwide. Never mind the fact that the sequel cost at least 50 million dollars more than its predecessor, throwing the entire "success" argument out the fucking window. And saying that more people have seen Into Darkness than any other Trek film or television series is just a mind-bogglingly stupid thing to say.

I won't deny that there are some fans out there who honestly don't want their niche franchise to be embraced by the mainstream. To these people, if the average Joe likes Star Trek, that makes it less special.

But those people are a minority of fandom. There's nothing wrong with Trek being loved by the masses. The majority of fans take issue with the direction the franchise has taken under the guidance of J.J. Abrams. It just doesn't feel like Star Trek, anymore. The franchise has been lobotomized.

A lot of people forget that when Star Trek premiered on television in 1966, it wasn't a "nerd show". It aired in primetime on a national network, and got decent ratings, at least for a while. It wasn't a show for socially-awkward outcasts; it was made to appeal to a wide audience. And it rarely pandered to the lowest common denominator in order to pull in a few more viewers. The writers room was filled with intelligent, thoughtful people who were trying to make a television show that had something on its mind. Star Trek may have been a little kitschy at times, and its budget limitations were evident on occasion, but it never treated its audience like a pack of fools.

Even Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, largely looked upon as the absolute worst film in the franchise, had something on its mind. Even this fundamentally broken motion picture was striving for something, attempting to take the series in a new and potentially exciting direction. Star Trek Into Darkness is content with stealing characters and plot points from better movies and dumbing them down in order to tell a boring and uninteresting story that adds up to nothing. It strives only to distract you from its numerous deficiencies for a few hours. So Star Trek V: The Final Frontier wins.

Hey, Simon Pegg! Fuck you, too!*

Time for a new episode of Super Happy Podcast Fun Times 2000! This episode, featuring our good buddy Titus, deals primarily with our group's inability to embrace the frightening and confusing future, choosing instead to look back at the serene and inviting past. We fear change almost as much as fear sobriety, which is why we drink so much. That, and we just really enjoy drinking. Watch this with your earballs:

Chapter 36: Backwards Compatible 



Until next we meet, children...

TIME MARCHES ON!



*I can't wait to see The World's End!