Don't Read This

What's the point? Really, what's the point? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? I don't know. Is there even a tunnel to begin with? I don't know. What if there is no tunnel, and what we perceive to be a tunnel is actually some sort of rhombus? Is that even possible? All things are possible thanks to science. Except for all of those things that aren't possible. Like flight. We're never going to be able to soar through the sky like that Kryptonian fellow all the children seem to admire. We're never going to explore the cosmos in our physics-defying starships. We'll never build a better mousetrap. And we'll never really learn to get along.

The story of the human race is punctuated with such inspiring moments of courage and defiance, of joy and love, but they remain simply that: moments. Everything in between is greed and rage and blood and death. We're actively destroying ourselves and our host planet at this very moment, and we're vaguely aware of this as a species, yet we do nothing to change our course. The people in positions of true power, the ones who have the ability to steer us away from this oncoming precipice, have a vested interest in things remaining just the way they are. Not because they're part of some vast conspiracy bent on wiping out multitudes and reshaping the world in their own twisted image, but because they're comfortable.

Why should they change things? They're pulling in more and more money every year thanks to our broken system, so why would they ever want to actually change anything? They choose not to look beyond their own ever-swelling bank accounts, and the people who toil and sweat and bleed to maintain their ivory towers are nothing more than chaff to them, used and abused and cast aside to die in the shadows, alone and forgotten. The status quo is killing us. And, by and large, we simply don't care.

Instead of trying to do anything to save our species and our planet, we're drawing imaginary lines separating ourselves into ignorant tribes called "political parties", endlessly screaming nonsense at each other as we plug our ears and ignore any external stimuli that might accidentally upset us. We're poisoning our air and our water, we're decimating the natural wonders of our world, annihilating the flora and fauna because it all stands in the way of our misguided march of progress.

In time, the world's coastlines will be redrawn as the oceans rise and eliminate our biggest population centers, and over a billion people will become refugees, moving further and further inland to settle in already over-industrialized and under-nourished regions. Ecosystems worldwide will collapse, and the most brutal and terrible conflicts this world will ever see will be waged over what remains: our dwindling natural resources. Then that super-volcano under Yellowstone National Park will finally erupt and mercifully wipe out the miserable pockets of survivors that stubbornly cling to existence like chewing gum underneath your desk.

Or maybe everything will work out for the best, we'll get our shit together, hold hands and sing "We Are The World" as we pledge to work together in an effort to build a brighter future for our children and our children's children. How the hell should I know? I'm no psychic. But I'm not optimistic.

There are very popular fundamentalist demagogues out there denouncing director Darren Aronofsky's upcoming film Noah because they see it as irresponsible. According to these individuals, this fictional story could be harmful to society at large because it apparently misrepresents the fairy tale of a man who gathers two of every animal in one big boat in order to survive a worldwide flood orchestrated by a vengeful God who grew so disappointed in the creatures he made in his own image, that he felt compelled to kill all of them that month.

This dangerous Hollywood blockbuster was designed to pervert the Christian faith and brainwash our impressionable children to accept a world without the loving presence of a creator that will wipe all of them out if he feels they haven't lived up to his lofty expectations, and these people are getting all of this from a movie they refuse to actually see for themselves. That's fucking crazy. But that's the human race. We celebrate ignorance.

Call me delusional, but I don't think a major motion picture studio would finance a film that actively contradicts and mocks a story over 1/5 of the world believes to be the gospel truth. Maybe if these drooling cretins would actually bother to see the movie, they might be pleasantly surprised by the end result. But they've already made up their minds, and they see this Noah movie as some great evil that needs to be conquered, instead of turning their attention to something that might actually be important.

Let's spend over two weeks obsessively covering the story of a single plane that disappeared under mysterious circumstances, going so far as to interview so-called "experts" on the fucking Bermuda Triangle on live television in prime time news, because that's the most important story in the entire world at the moment. I think Justin Bieber said something stupid last night, so let's have a member of congress discuss it on Dateline tonight. We're all fucking doomed.

I don't have any answers for you. I don't know how to change things. I don't even know if it's possible to change things at this late hour. I'm part of the problem, not the solution. I'm just as guilty as anybody else in perpetuating this diseased culture, because I'd rather re-watch The Wire than think about climate change or the AIDS pandemic or any other depressing fucking topics.

I occasionally see stories about people protesting income inequality or drone warfare or fracking and I just shake my head, because nobody's really listening. Their pleas for justice and reason fall on deaf ears time and time again, because no one is paying any attention. The things that really MATTER don't really matter, not to the masses. They'd rather keep up with the Kardashians than hear some depressing story about a young man who was beaten to death by an angry mob because he wanted to bring his boyfriend to the high school prom.

Who wants to hear about human rights violations in China when we have podcasts to listen to?

Podcasts like Lies My Podcast Told Me, for example. Now there's a sweet fucking podcast, right there. And the latest episode is the best one yet. Entitled Evolution Wars, it's a soothing mixture of coughing, confusion, rambling, whiskey, and controversy that goes down smooth as silk every time. So just sit back and allow this delightful auditory distraction to lull you back to sleep:

Chapter 64: Evolution Wars


I don't know what I was trying to accomplish with any of this. Maybe I just needed to rant. And after all, this is my blog, and I can rant about whatever catches my fancy. So yes, we're all doomed. But don't let it worry you. Just do what I do, and embrace the horror. It's really the only sensible option.

TIME MARCHES ON!