What Gives?!

March. I can't believe it's already March. Soon, I'll look at the calendar and notice that March has become April, and winter has finally yielded to spring. But I don't care. I just don't care about most things, these days. I ate a bad burrito last Friday and almost died. That has nothing to do with my apathy, in case you were wondering. I just felt like mentioning that. Maybe I should have gone to a hospital, but I decided to stick it out here in my root cellar, writhing in agony for over 24 hours as my digestive system tried to claw its way free of my abdomen. It was quite the experience, let me tell you.

In my life, I've been quite fortunate in avoiding food poisoning in general, having only been truly laid low by "something I ate" twice, as far as I can recall. I like to think this is due to my cast-iron stomach, but it's probably just dumb luck.

By Sunday, I was feeling marginally better, so I decided to watch the Academy Awards while drinking a bottle of Jagermeister and eating some leftover pizza. This did not end well. The Academy Awards did, I suppose, because 12 Years A Slave won the big prize, but I was referring to my evening. I got too ambitious, and I paid for it by spending several hours on the bathroom floor, shaking and sweating uncontrollably, expelling copious amounts of what looked like used motor oil and chewing tobacco from my body, listening to Bat Out Of Hell II: Back Into Hell on my stereo and crying like a broken boy while slurring my way through the lyrics into my toilet bowl.



THE BEST.

I guess I'm trying to say I had a good weekend. How was your weekend? I don't give a shit, so don't tell me.

So now I'm going to introduce the latest two episodes of Fall Into A Vat Of Acid & Die, the podcast that never really loved you, so adjust your expectations accordingly. Below, you will find the 8th and 9th rounds of our amazingly tense and entertaining duel for pointless television trivia supremacy, and you will enjoy them. Or you won't. I don't particularly care, either way. So just whatever:

Chapter 60: TV Trivia Death Match, Part Seven 



Chapter 61: TV Trivia Death Match, Part Eight 



So that's it. Next week, this nightmare will finally end, and we can all get on with our lives. Until then...

TIME MARCHES ON!