Friday, April 16

A Handshake Of Carbon Monoxide

 


It's the middle of April, and the rain is coming down outside as I type. It's a light, cool, calming rain, the kind of rain that comes without any drama or stress. The kind of rain that could really lull a fella to sleep if he were so inclined. But this fella is not so inclined, at least not just yet. Because I've got a little business to handle before I can crawl into my bed and take a nice, long eighteen-hour nap. What kind of business, I don't hear you ask? Why podcast business, of course. You all remember that pesky little podcast that is featured on this quaint little blog, right? Wait, you don't? Well, the numbers certainly back that up, let me tell you. I guess that's what happens when you take an unintended three-week break. 

Yeah, I meant to come back next week and begin a more reasonable bi-weekly schedule for Trappo's Chap House (that's the name of the podcast, in case you've forgotten), but then shit just sort of happened, as shit is wont to do. You have an idea in your head, and you think everything's going just great, then life gets in the way, a few days pass, life refuses to get out of the way, and next thing you know, it's the 16th of April and you haven't posted a new podcast in three weeks, and your listener numbers are in the fucking toilet, waiting to be flushed. But that's okay, because Trappo's back, ready to claw his way back to the lower-middle of the comedy podcast ratings on PodOmatic

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and these other podcasts? They don't stop. They just don't stop. These lunatics don't take breaks. They pump out product week after week, even producing shorter "bonus pods" on a regular basis to make sure that nobody forgets they exist. But that's not our style. That's not how Trappo rolls. Bonus pods? Nobody wants to listen to the regular pods. Why the hell would we ever bother with extra episodes of a show that nobody wants? That's madness. I think the current format is just fine. The only real problem we have is that our content is not very interesting to a wider audience. Who wants to listen to nerds talk about the latest blockbuster movies and current television shows? Nobody cares about pop culture. That's yesterday's news. 

No, what the people want is critical conversations about organized religion. People want to be reminded that they're going to die some day. They want to be reminded that the entire universe is going to die some day. People want to listen to a podcast that discusses the execrable work of the late religious zealot Jack T. Chick. People want blasphemy! And dammit, we must give the people what they want! The public has demanded this, and Trappo will deliver! 

And so I introduce you to the fortieth chapter of this incredible ongoing journey into madness, which features all these things and more, for your easy listening needs. Take a listen below, or find Trappo on Apple Podcasts, or on Spotify, or maybe somewhere else. Just go search for it. Type Trappo's Chap House in your phone or on your computer, or maybe call somebody you know and ask them if they've heard of Trappo, and where to find Trappo. They might know. Somebody knows. Whatever.

Chapter 40: The Cool Pope (A Chick Tract)


 


 

That's it. I'm done. I'll be back in a couple weeks. Maybe. I might forget again and not show up with a new episode until June. But since I've been fully vaccinated against this dreaded virus, chances are I'll probably still be alive, so I can't use that as an excuse. But I suppose I could always get hit by a car or struck by lightning between now and whenever, so fingers crossed!

STAY SPOOKY, MOTHERFUCKERS!




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