Happy Memorial Day!
Wait, is that appropriate? Are we supposed to wish somebody a happy Memorial Day? I'm not sure a day set aside to remember fallen soldiers is really meant to be seen as mirthful in any context. Sure, a lot of people take this holiday as an excuse to get together, drink some beers, grill some burgers and just generally have a good time, but do even those folks ever wish their pals a "happy" Memorial Day? That's not a rhetorical question. I have no idea. Do you know? If so, could you let me know? Because it doesn't seem right to me. Maybe we shouldn't be gathering in joyous groups today, obliviously enjoying a collective day off while we ignore the sacrifices of the brave men and women who can't be here to mark this occasion with us. Maybe we should all just sit alone in the dark all day, silently contemplating what Memorial Day should mean to us, and maybe we should whisper a solemn thanks to the noble ones who laid down their lives to earn us the freedom to be thoughtless pricks who pound brewskis and inhale copious amounts of red meat in bold defiance of our own looming mortality.
I mean, we could do that, but that sounds really fucking depressing to me. And let's be honest, do you really think that people having a good time during this national holiday is going to upset the ghosts of all these dead soldiers so much that they might come back and haunt us all, ruining our fabulous afternoon barbecues? Probably not. They might be a little bummed that they themselves cannot partake, but what do I know? Maybe they can pull some Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey shit and possess folks at these parties for a while, mingling with the living while chugging ice cold beer and chowing down on some freshly grilled hot dogs. That's a wonderful thought.
You know what else is wonderful? Trappo's fucking Chap House, that's what! It's that time again, time for a brand-new episode of that podcast that, statistically speaking, nobody listens to, just in time to help you celebrate... whatever holiday this is. In today's fantabulous episode, your hosts discuss the music of Blues Traveler, Rammstein, Audioslave and Queens Of The Stone Age, the reasons why Johnny Cash's cover version of "Hurt" is superior to the Nine Inch Nails original, and the making of Stanley Kubrick's classic horror masterpiece The Shining. This episode's kind of all over the place. So enjoy it. Put it in your ears.
Chapter 43: Shine On, Stanley!
That's it, man. I don't have anything else to offer today. There will be more to come, but that's later. Right now, I've got other things to get into. Maybe I'll plant the vegetable garden. Maybe I'll just cook some hamburgers (inside, because it's raining all day here and I hate cooking outdoors anyway) and watch a few episodes of The Simpsons. Either way, my Memorial Day is set. So have fun, kiddies!
STAY SPOOKY, MOTHERFUCKERS!
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