Kweznuz - The Day After

Christmas has come and gone. By now, your soul has been crushed with disappointment and self-loathing. Perhaps you just didn't get the gift you so coveted, and when you unwrapped your final package to discover tube socks, your blood boiled, and in retrospect you're certain that if you had a knife on your person at the time, you would have buried it in somebody's sternum.

Besides, spending all that time with your extended family is unhealthy. Sure, getting the whole gang together for a fancy meal sounds like a good idea beforehand. But after about an hour spent surrounded by these losers, listening to their hard luck stories, bemoaning the fact that they nearly won that big lotto jackpot last month, and swearing that they'll stop smoking crack after New Year's (for reals this time!), you just want to blow your fucking brains out.

Or maybe it's all the shit that you just have to deal with when the holiday season rears its ugly head. The multi-colored lights, the carolers, the smiling children, the shitty songs, the shitty holiday specials, the wreaths, the garlands, the ornaments, the tinsel, the mistletoe, the Salvation Army bell ringers, the decorated trees, the omnipresent visage of Old Saint Nick, etc. By the time Christmas actually arrives, you just want it to be over so you can get on with your miserable fucking life in peace.

Of course, you may be one of those weirdos who got that double-ended dildo you were asking for, you actually love your degenerate relatives, and you're too simple-minded to actually allow the seasonal sensory overload to get under your skin. If so, then I hate you. With a burning passion. Jesus, I am sick of fucking Christmas.

But at least it's finally over.



Goddammit.