A Very Messy Kweznuz - Day 6

The big day has finally arrived! Homes across the world have been visited by a corpulent imp spawned from the bowels of Hades, and in this abomination's wake lies a trail of stolen innocence and shattered dreams. Some child in Oregon has just annihilated an immaculately wrapped parcel with reckless abandon, only to die inside when he realizes that the Claus has left something unspeakable under his tree.

And now his wide eyes fill with tears as he pleads with his vapid parents. "Why, mommy? Why did the Red One do this to me? Daddy, is there no justice in this world? Is there no God?!"

The empty shell of a man that was once the boy's father momentarily meets his child's gaze. "God  is dead, young one. We belong to the void."

The broken thing called "daddy" turns away, drowning his sorrows in his perfectly chilled six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon tallboys, forgetting his son's pain as he drifts off into the dark recesses of his own mind. The woman called "mommy" hides her head in a worn scarf, soaking it through with her own bitter tears. The magic of the Christmas season is torn asunder in the cold, lonely light of morning.

And when night falls, the boy will lay sleepless in his race car bed, clutching his unopened DVD of The Love Guru, cursing the day he was conceived in a night of drunken teenage revelry.

...Anyhoo, it's Christmas Day. Hooray! On this, the last day of my holiday festival of the moving picture, I bring you the single greatest Christmas-related video off all time. And no, I'm not being hyperbolic. You may think I'm crazy, but I'm not crazy. One chilly morning in the late December of 1988, I saw this music video for the first time on VH1. I was entranced. 22 years later, I am still entranced. Although I am not a religious man, this video almost makes me believe in a higher power.

Take it away, boys!



Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers!

P.S. - Reviews of TRON: Legacy & Black Swan are forthcoming.