One Shall Stand...

Today is a special day.

Yes, I know the Summer Olympics have begun. That's not what I'm talking about.

Although I did watch the opening ceremonies last night. If you recall this delightful post from 2010, then you remember my unhinged reaction to the opening ceremonies from the prior Olympic Games. Put simply, I thought somebody had slipped me some LSD, and I was having "a bad trip".

Nothing quite so psychotic happened during this broadcast. I must admit that it was bizarre watching an army of Mary Poppinses banish a giant Lord Voldemort puppet from a floating child's dream. And the appearance of a massive, grey baby head in the center of the arena made me feel like I was having a bad dream.

But aside from all that, I was actually entertained by the spectacle. The transformation of the arena from an idyllic, pastoral setting into a smokestack-marked, industrial revolution-era foundry, forging a red-hot ring that lifted into the sky to join four other glowing rings in a massive Olympics logo was pretty cool. Then the logo bathed the arena in a gorgeous shower of sparks. Beautiful stuff.

Then James Bond escorted the Queen of Englad to the arena, skydiving from a helicopter to her seat.

Then Mr. Bean showed up!

Then Paul McCartney, filled with emotion, choked up during the opening to "Hey Jude", then led the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD in several rounds of the chorus. It was a good time.

But that's not why I'm here. No, today marks an occasion so much more important that something as trivial as a sporting event that unites the entire world in the spirit of friendly competition.

Today, my friends... is Peter Cullen's birthday.

This guy!

That's right! Peter Cullen is 71 years young today! Montreal's second-favorite son (William Shatner is French Canada's golden god) has survived another trip around the sun, and the world raises its glass to this monumental victory over the grim specter of death. Not this year, you bony bastard!

The man who has portrayed the voice of Optimus Prime, the stalwart leader of the Autobots, in every single fucking incarnation of the never-ending Transformers franchise, including the numerous video game adaptations, is blowing out the candles on his massive, candle-laden, truck-shaped cake as we speak. I just couldn't let another year pass without praising this monumental talent. I wouldn't be properly doing my job as a pathetic blogger if I did.

I ask you, Dear Imaginary Listener, to join me and my cousin Ky as we take a walk down memory lane (or at least Peter Cullen's IMDB profile) in this delightful commemorative podcast entitled The Peter Cullen Extravaganza! It's a lot of fun, and I think you'll enjoy it.

At the very least, you might take a moment to appreciate the life and work of this amazing man who has touched so many lives around the world. Peter Cullen. The man. The legend. The golden voice. The moustache.

What a class act.

We also talk about Night Court. So there's that. Enjoy:




Join me next time for... more... stuff. Maybe. I'm now going to sink into my comfortable chair and mainline two weeks of amazing Olympics coverage on the networks of NBC Universal.

I'll see you on the other side.



Best Catwoman Of All Time.