Last night, I engaged in a very long conversation with my delightful cousin Ky. We discussed many holiday-related topics, and not in a completely humorous manner. We tried to discover the true meaning of Christmas in this modern world. We wondered where the magic of the season has gone in the years since our childhood. We remembered Christmases past, gathered with our family, and the joy we experienced in those lovely days gone by. We came to some startling conclusions, and maybe we even learned a thing or two about what Christmas really means, and how to carry it in our hearts all year round.
Unfortunately, that conversation was lost, because I was too drunk to remember to record it, so I had to scrap my original plan of creating a week of holiday-themed podcasts that would fill your hearts with the magic of the Christmas spirit. Instead, I'm left to improvise with what follows, and it has nothing to do with the magic of Christmas. It has everything to do with the magic of perversion, which is just as good, if you really think about it.
Introducing the 46th installment of Christmas Is Burning, a podcast dedicated to all those horrible things about yourself you never want your mother to discover, lest you bring shame upon your entire family and hang yourself in the backyard (using that tree you used to climb every weekend back when you were a carefree child) in an effort to balance the scales and restore your father's honor. Topics include Rachel Maddow, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Who, claw machines, leather pants, and pagan deities. Enjoy it:
Chapter 46: The Cursed Claw Machine
Happy Holidays, motherfuckers, and don't forget that there's more of this garbage coming tomorrow!
CHRISTMAS TIME MARCHES ON!
Great Christmas post, you fuckin dolt.
ReplyDeleteI thought there was more of this garbage coming, you fucking loser. Fuck you.
ReplyDelete