Saturday, December 16

Schlock-Mas: Day Sixteen




CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN

A veterinarian sets out to have the perfect Christmas with her boyfriend.

Allie (Ashley Williams, which is coincidentally the full name of Bruce Campbell's character in the Evil Dead franchise) has lived in the picturesque town of Evergreen her entire life. It's a beautiful little place filled with kind and generous people, and she's been the town's veterinarian for nearly ten years, vaccinating puppies and birthing calves for the local farmers and just generally living a good and decent life. Her on-off boyfriend, some banker named Spencer, has finally convinced her to move out of her home town and relocate to Washington, D.C., where she has a job at a large animal clinic waiting for her, and she's getting ready to say goodbye to Evergreen this holiday season.

Meanwhile, an overworked M.D. from Boston named Ryan (Teddy Sears, the evil speedster from The Flash TV series. No, the other evil speedster. No, the other, other evil speedster) is driving his daughter Zoe to the airport so they can catch a flight to Florida to celebrate the holidays with a tropical Christmas cruise. Ryan's beloved wife passed away the previous year, right around Christmas time, and he's determined to avoid the trappings of the season this time around, claiming to be doing this for his daughter's sake, but really because he just can't face the traditional Christmas traditions without being reminded of the pain of losing his wife. Zoe keeps telling her father that she just wants a normal Christmas, demonstrating no enthusiasm for palm trees and sandy beaches for her Yuletide vacation, but Ryan thinks he knows what's best, and he's bound and determined to make it to Florida by Christmas Eve.

On their way to the airport, they end up passing through the town of Evergreen, a captivating little town where there's always snow swirling in the air and everybody's always eager to greet a newcomer with a friendly smile. Ryan and Zoe stop for lunch at the Chris Kringle Kitchen, owned and operated by Allie's parents, and apparently the only restaurant in town.


I just have to mention that the name of this place is driving me crazy. The Chris Kringle Kitchen? Nobody says "Chris Kringle". It's always "Kris Kringle". Always. Look at that name. Chris Kringle Kitchen. The alliteration is completely ruined. What the hell is wrong with these people that they would name their diner the "Chris Kringle Kitchen"? The dad's name isn't Christopher, so that doesn't explain it. Maybe they're just fucking idiots.

The Chris Kringle Kitchen's biggest claim to fame isn't the flapjacks or the biscuits and gravy, however, but a dumb-looking, supposedly magical snow globe that can make wishes come true, if the person holding the snow globe makes their wish from their heart. Zoe snatches up the snow globe and silently wishes for her and her father to spend Christmas in Evergreen, this wonderful little place she's already fallen in love with. And a strange man sitting in the corner of the diner, a friendly-looking chap with a big white beard, gingerly sipping his cup of coffee, notices the little girl holding the snow globe, and he smiles.

Now I know what you're thinking, but no, this guy isn't Santa Claus. He's just some random guy who pops up routinely throughout the story,  giving the romantic leads some very sage advice when they need it most before hopping on his magical sleigh and flying off into the snowy night sky on Christmas Eve after Allie and Ryan kiss under the mistletoe. Totally not Santa Claus.


Ryan and Zoe run into Allie at the airport as they both prepare to catch their respective flights, but a mysterious snowstorm swamps the airport and all flights are canceled. Allie offers to drive Ryan and Zoe back to Evergreen and sets them up at her friend Barbara's newly-opened country inn, and they have a lot of fun decorating a Christmas Tree and making snow angels and all that good stuff. More wacky circumstances keep Ryan and Allie from reaching the airport for the next few days, until Christmas Eve finally arrives, and Ryan decides to stop fighting fate and just spend the holidays in Evergreen, much to his daughter's delight.

He's realized that the past several days have been some of the happiest of his life, and seeing Zoe smile the way she used to before she lost her mother has been the greatest gift he could have received. Ryan knows that his job in Boston has kept him so busy that he's been missing too much time with his daughter, and he's even contemplating setting up shop in Evergreen as the town doctor, a position that has recently become vacant since the previous doctor recently retired.

And Allie has been spending so much time with Ryan and Zoe, seeing her hometown through their eyes as they marvel at its beauty and character, that she realizes she doesn't want to close her veterinary practice and move to Washington, D.C. So Allie tells Spencer that her heart belongs in Evergreen, and with Ryan, and he gracefully steps aside. There's no place like home, especially if that home is Evergreen.

At the town's annual Christmas festival, Ryan and Allie find each other and share their good news, and Zoe proudly joins the town choir onstage as they serenade the gathered masses with a round of festive Christmas carols, content in the knowledge that her heartfelt wish has come true.


That's Christmas In Evergreen, a movie that I found myself enjoying despite its rather, let's say familiar story. And most of the reason I enjoyed the movie as much as I did is owed entirely to its visual ambiance. The production team tries really, really hard to make every exterior shot of "Evergreen" look like it belongs on a Christmas card. Large piles of fluffy, fake snow are strategically arranged on every street corner. Festive decorations adorn every home and storefront. Warm filters are applied to make these locations appear oh, so inviting. Large, photogenic snowflakes are always falling gently in the still air and around the well-framed faces of our lead characters as they exchange witty banter while walking down Main Street at midday.

The producers of Christmas In Evergreen really wanted their movie to look like one of those beautiful, inviting little scenes from a Hallmark Channel greeting card, with advertisements even claiming that the movie is visually inspired by the work of their greeting card artists, and the folks behind the movie put a lot of work into making the final product feel like it jumped right off the shelves of a Hallmark store and onto the television screen. Perhaps the creative team did their job too well, because at times, the production design looks too perfectly arranged, lending certain scenes a stagey and artificial appearance. But I don't know if I can really fault them too much for that, because Evergreen is supposed to be perfect.

It's a Norman Rockwell painting come to life, a place that's too good to be true, a slice of pure Americana, and I'll honestly say that for the most part I was swept up in the aesthetics so much that I didn't really mind the formulaic story, which is really the exact same thing I've seen far too many times to count with Hallmark Channel original movies. At this point, I'm seriously beginning to wonder if the producers of these movies just play a game of Mad Libs in their development meetings, using the same template for each of the movies on their production schedule and just fill in the blanks with words like "Evergreen" and "snow globe".


But this cookie cutter story stuff doesn't bother me all that much if I'm actually engaged in the story, and I was engaged throughout Christmas In Evergreen, more or less. The story's leads are decent enough, with Ashley Williams edging out Teddy Sears in terms of overall performance, because Sears is just a little stiff for my tastes. He's not a bad actor, by any means, just a little stodgy. Williams is a little more easygoing and natural in her performance, her smile a bit more convincing. Their nascent romance was believable enough, if perhaps a little rushed.

Maybe I was too taken with the film's visual appeal that I overlooked numerous flaws in the story and production that I would normally highlight, but I don't care. I actually didn't hate the movie I watched today, and I'll take my victories where I can find them.

But I still don't understand why the diner is called the Chris Kringle Kitchen.


Mommy's Dead - Yup. Again. Pretty damned popular, isn't it? These movies just love killing mommy.

Secret Santa - I lied. That suspicious guy with the beard really was Santa Claus. I apologize for the deception.

Christmas Magic - The movie doesn't imply that Santa Claus had anything to do with the magical snow globe, so I'm gonna count this as its own separate thing. As far as I can tell, Santa was just hanging out in Evergreen for the holidays because he likes it so much, and didn't really do much to contribute to the overall plot. I guess that's one hell of an endorsement when you can say that Santa Claus just comes to visit your town every now and then because he likes the company. But I'll bet he hates the name of that stupid diner, too.

Small Town Salvation - Ryan rediscovers his love for Christmas during his time in Evergreen, ultimately choosing to make the quaint little town his home. He knows that the requirements of being a small town doctor won't compare to the strenuous demands of working in a big city hospital, and he wants the extra time to spend with his beloved daughter, Zoe. And Allie even has her own small-scale version of this trope thanks to her association with Ryan as he falls in love with her hometown, deciding that she'd ultimately be happier if she remained in Evergreen. And they both found love in each other's arms, so it's a win-win.

Christmas In July! - The overly staged and artificial winter scenes are a dead giveaway that Christmas In Evergreen was shot in Vancouver during the summertime, but I don't think the movie was ever trying to look realistic in the first place. The carefully framed shots never reveal a hint of green grass or any trees in full bloom, and that's good enough for me. The exterior shots are never believably winter, but that's not the point. Evergreen looks invitingly bogus.

VERDICT: NICE


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