Schlock Corridor: Day Twenty-Four

HOWLING V: THE REBIRTH

"Travelers who visit a castle that's been closed for 500 years start disappearing one by one amid rumors they are being stalked by violent wolves."

Howling V: The Rebirth was written by the two hacks who wrote Howling IV: The Original Nightmare, and directed by one of the directors responsible for the infamous Space Mutiny. It's about a group of seemingly unrelated individuals spending the night in an old Hungarian castle who get bumped off by a stuntman in a pathetic werewolf costume in classic Agatha Christie style as they try to figure out who exactly is committing the murders. 

As it turns out, all the victims are vaguely related, being distant cousins bearing the same stupid birthmark on their forearms, and one of them is either the descendant of the werewolf that caused a massacre at the castle five centuries ago, or actually is the same werewolf responsible for the medieval massacre, still alive after all this time. The movie is a little vague on the specifics regarding that plot point. And once again, the writers label the werewolf as part of a devil worshipping cult, despite there being no mention of devil worshipping werewolves in any of Gary Brandner's original Howling novels I think these guys were really banking on that angle to take off, but it adds nothing to the plot. 

This is a movie where the werewolf effects were so terrible that the director chose never to actually reveal the beast in a close-up, instead relying on long shots of a furry shape hidden in fog-enshrouded darkness and the occasional close shot of a big, furry hand strangling a victim before a quick fade to black. The embarrassed director knew his werewolf was just not up to par, so he decided to keep it off camera. A wise decision. 

This werewolf does enjoy bursting through walls like the fucking Kool-Aid Man, though. It's his only trick. He waits for things to get really quiet, then he just "OH YEAH"'s his way right through the wall in order to strangle his next hapless victim, who is too shocked to run, because who expects somebody to just crash through a castle wall?

And the ridiculously bombastic musical score from something called "The Factory" is just a series of inane musical stings accompanied by a poor excuse for "ominous" chanting, all trying desperately to provide cheap jump scares every time the werewolf strikes, but the combination of the goofy costume and the overbearing music only serve to make all of the death scenes exercises in farce. 

The most insanely over-the-top moment occurs when the castle's butler and maid, who don't speak English, try to murder one the survivors, whom they believe to be a werewolf. The bastard tosses the maid like a football before straddling her and shaking the poor lady like a rag doll while the butler sneaks up on him with an axe. As the butler swings, the man is warned by his lady friend's scream, rolling out of harm's way. The butler's axe cleanly severs the maid's head, which rolls into the fireplace, and the butler is quickly dispatched via the lady friend's handy crossbow. Then the musical score starts ominously shouting random gibberish while our survivors survey the aftermath. 

At this point, I couldn't tell whether or not these events were meant to be taken seriously. Was this whole movie a parody? But no, that scene was the movie's best attempt to frighten and shock the viewer, and it utterly failed. It's just so stupid. The writers were really trying to make a big "whodunit" mystery thriller, but they just didn't have the talent to make it any good. 

It's a damn shame, because I could see the potential with the concept. There are actually a few characters in this movie that approach two-dimensional, and I was honestly never bored during the movie. So if Howling IV: The Original Nightmare was a solid one-star movie, then Howling V: The Rebirth is at least a one-and-a-half star movie, which I guess makes it an improvement. 

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