Brotherly Love

The weekend means CINEMA TIME!!!

My brother joined me for a matinee this afternoon. We were planning on seeing "The Men Who Stare At Goats" at last, but our local theatre shuffled the showtimes around, and when we arrived at the cinema, our desired feature had already started.

So we decided to see "Brothers", appropriately enough. The delightful romantic comedy starring Spider-Man, Donnie Darko, and Queen Amidala.

If you don't know anything about the film, imaginary reader, let me refresh your memory: A marine and family man played by Spider-Man is deployed to Afghanistan shortly after his black sheep brother, played by Donnie Darko, is released from a stint in prison. After Spider-Man's chopper is shot down and he is presumed dead, Donnie Darko picks up the slack around the house, renovating Queen Amidala's kitchen and playing house with her two precocious daughters. When Spider-Man is rescued from the sinister Taliban and returns home, hijinks ensue!

The movie is good. Donnie Darko and Queen Amidala both play their roles admirably, and Spider-Man is fantastic as an emotionally broken war veteran with a "dark secret". His third act freak-out is spectacular.

One scene in particular had both myself and my brother laughing long after we fled the cinema, retreating into the cold, late Autumn evening.

After Spider-Man comes home from his wacky adventures in Taliban Town, the entire family gathers to celebrate the birthday of one of his delightful children (don't ask me to remember which one). Everyone is on edge. Spider-Man, suspicious of his wife and jail bird brother, is ready to snap. Then his lovely daughter says something like this:

"Why couldn't you just stay dead?!"

Oh shit.

"You're just mad because mom would rather have sex with Uncle Tommy than YOU!!!"

OH SHIT.

"They've been having sex ALL THE TIME!!!!!"

OH SHIT!!!!

Hilarity ensues. Screaming adults, balloons popping, spittle flying, Spider-Man's eyes bugging out of his skull... Mass Hysteria!

Later that evening, Queen Dead-Amidala -Walking tucks her cute little hellspawn into bed, telling the little girl she loves her and kissing her cherubic little forehead.

Inside, the Queen is screaming: "Do you have any idea what you've done, you stupid cow?! You know your Daddy is crazy!!! You've just killed your dear Uncle Tommy!!!! You've just killed your loving Mommy!!!! We're gonna get murdered by a bat-shit insane war veteran and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! I should have had an abortion..."

Delightful movie.

"Invasion!" has bottomed out, by the way. 218 hits. The wave has crested, and is receding back into the horizon. I am finished.